


Far Too Young To Die

by notoriously



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, F/M, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Post-Deathly Hallows AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-03-06 02:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13401183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notoriously/pseuds/notoriously
Summary: "Every single person who had lost their life bravely opposing the Dark Arts and its practitioners deserved to live..."During the one-hour armistice in the Battle of Hogwarts, many witches and wizards lay injured, dying or dead. Fate saves some by sacrificing others, and even those left behind have scars that may never heal.





	1. The Silenced Battle Roar

They didn’t have time to check the dead. If they called a name and the person in question didn’t move, they were taken to the Great Hall and were presumed deceased. For the most part, the presumptions were correct. Many ordinary (but _brave,_ so very brave) witches and wizards had laid down their lives in the Battle of Hogwarts.

Remus Lupin was no ordinary wizard.

For a long while, he thought he was dead and this is what lurked behind the Veil. He felt like he couldn’t move, couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe. He heard the others around him but it was as if they were under water, the sound ebbing and flowing from his ears like waves. There was no battle commotion – last thing he remembered, he was duelling Dolohov, and someone called his name as he fell but there were skirmishes like that happening all over the castle. Surely neither side had triumphed over the other, not yet.

And then he heard wailing. Even through the haze he could identify it, having heard it some years earlier when its owner had been confronted with a Boggart of her dead family members.

_Molly…_

Remus almost felt as if he had no connection to his body. He simultaneously felt impossibly heavy and yet unbearably light. At that moment, he felt sure he was dead, and by the Weasley matriarch’s screams, he thought for a moment that she may have wished she was too.

He finally heard the voice of one of the Weasleys - he couldn’t determine exactly which Weasley it was, the pulsing returning to his ears and making him feel faint. An unmistakable scream of ‘ _Fred!’_ rang out and Remus felt something for the first time since regaining any senses. It was a deep pang in his chest, a life cut far too short.

_Even shorter than James and Lily’s,_ he thought.

The wails slowly died down into quiet sobs, and the pang in Remus’ chest subsided. Now he was back to feeling nothing, feeling heavy yet weightless, exhausted yet unable to sleep, and terrified yet serenely calm. For the next few minutes, the pulsing in his head slowed until he heard sounds, at which point it amplified and rendered him unable to hear it. He had to be dead. He did not want to be –

_‘Dad!’_

Remus’ thoughts froze and the pang in his stomach returned. He heard clamouring now, and it almost completely blocked out the rest of the sound. He tried to lift his head and open his eyes harder than he had since he realised he was laying there, but try as he might he was glued in position. But something pierced through even the silence – again, it was Molly’s voice.

_‘Arthur, no, **no!’**_

If Remus had not already been stuck where he was involuntarily, he would have frozen. He wanted to cry out, wanted to deny with all his might that it couldn’t have been _their_ Arthur, not Arthur Weasley, for he couldn’t think who deserved it less. But Molly’s howling cries and something akin to a shriek ringing out from the same area reinforced his knowledge – it could have been Arthur. This was war – it _was_ Arthur. The pulsing in his ears returned, slowly but surely making the wails fade out.

Remus had heard it before, the sound of raw, unbridled grief of losing a spouse. He had heard it from his own father when his mother had died, and he was sure he never wanted to hear it again. For the first time since finding himself paralysed on the ground, he was almost glad for the near-unbearable pulsing.

But it stopped to make way for dead silence when his next thought emerged.

_Dora._

Despite his inability to move, it was almost as if he could feel tears forming in his eyes and a lump making itself evident in his throat. She didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve any of this. She loved him more than he felt he deserved. And what had he repaid her with? With his horrible affliction, with his poverty, and now the final blow coming with his death. She deserved better, so much better than him.

The thoughts raged through Remus’ otherwise dark, blank and silent mind for what could have been three seconds or three years. Eventually, his own thoughts ebbed from his mind and made way for gentler ones – if his wife knew he was talking to himself this way, her hair would flush a brilliant red with rage. And, Remus supposed, if these were his last moments on this mortal coil, perhaps he should be kinder to himself. Be kind to himself in the way that his loved ones had been to him in life.

With that, he thought of all the things that he _had_ provided to his wife. His own love, however paltry, had been hers for years now. He didn’t have very much money, but any he did have went towards the betterment of the both of them. That meant supplies of Wolfsbane Potion – and that removed the danger of his condition so much so that he slept, silent and completely harmless, curled up beside his wife for most full moons these days. He had only slept outside for the last full moon because of how heavily pregnant Tonks had been.

The most callous blow was dealt in his thoughts at that – so much so that he started feeling physical pain in his body, twisting around his organs and bones and pulling him down.

Remus Lupin was never going to see his son grow up.

He would never hear Teddy’s first words, never see Teddy’s first steps. He wouldn’t be able to see his first days at school. He wouldn’t get to see the person his son turned out to be. He would never get to know if his son was a wizard like his parents or not. If he was a Squib, they would love him just the same – but if he was a wizard, then Remus would never get to see if he would be a Gryffindor like his father or a Hufflepuff like his mother, or perhaps something different entirely.

He would not get to see that, because if he was not already dead, then he was certainly dying.

All of these thoughts were too much for Remus to cope with. He always presumed that when his death came, he would be at peace with it. He would be able to see his mother again, Sirius again, Dumbledore again. He had lost so many people that his eventual trip beyond the Veil would be somewhat welcomed. But now he knew better. Though so much had been lost, he had so much to live for.

Guilt followed these thoughts up rapidly, though. Did Fred not deserve to live? Did Arthur not deserve to live? Every single person who had lost their life bravely opposing the Dark Arts and its practitioners deserved to live, probably much more than Remus himself. The guilt lurched in his stomach and travelled up his throat, culminating in a small cough which tainted the back of his mouth with a metallic taste.

_Wait._

_A cough?_

Thoughts, both positive and negative, moved out of his mind to make room for the intense focus on those feelings. The taste of the blood in his mouth, the pain near his stomach which slowly radiated to the rest of his body. He was in so much pain, but he fought to retain the feeling despite its intensity. The dead didn’t feel pain – he must be alive. Sure enough, the next thing he felt was the smallest and most painful breath he had ever taken. It was as if his ribs were being wrenched apart, splintering against his lungs but he _felt_ it, and that was his only hope.

As his feeling returned, however, so did his other senses. The wailing was continuing from where he had heard it earlier, though it was no longer Molly’s. Ever the strong mother, Remus had to conclude that she was cradling and comforting her children despite having just lost her own son and her own husband. The throbbing in his ears remained, but was now little more than a backing track to the horrific sounds of moans and wails around him. People frantically tending to the injured and mourning their dead. The sound never got easier to hear.

Smell was the next sense that returned, and the scent of fresh death was a distinctive one. It was one that he had smelled many unwanted times upon his transformations. He was lucky to never have killed a fellow human, but other creatures had occasionally fallen prey to him. He found it near impossible to scrub the smell off of oneself – it usually left of its own accord eventually. Perhaps it was partly psychological, and the wearer could only stop smelling the scent once they stopped thinking about it. Remus wasn’t sure he could ever really stop thinking about it.

Only one sense remained elusive to Remus, and it was the one he was trying the hardest to regain. His eyelids were little more than twitching, which was not enough in and of itself to draw the attention of anyone. He could feel the pain searing through his body but could not make any noises to indicate it. He feared that it was so severe he might pass out, and feared that any moment of unconsciousness would allow him to slip quietly to his death.

So, like he always had, Remus fought. He fought against the physiological instincts in him which were slowly creeping up, slowly clawing at his aching body and exhausted mind to attempt to coax him into a more permanent slumber. He would not give in so easily, though – he had fought and thus far defeated every demon he had ever faced in his mind, and if he had any say in it, he would not lose the battle that day.

Again, he was unsure as to how time was passing around him, but eventually one of his eyes stopped twitching and opened the barest amount. It was now that he was sure he had a black eye, as the aching concentrated slightly around his eye socket as he opened his eye. All he could see was a blur, but mustering his strength once more he blinked, opened his eye once more and looked beside him.

The flash of pink beside him was the most horrifying thing he’d ever seen.

His eyes both opened now, though feebly, and he mustered every ounce of strength to try and turn to his side to tend to his wife who was _here, why was she here?!_ He felt his shoulder lift from the ground the barest amount, and again, pain shot down his side and he lost feeling in his leg, but it didn’t deter him. He continued trying to move towards Tonks, his heart beating hard and fast after a long period of slow, lulling thumps. He was also breathing harder than he had been, his physical agony joined by emotional agony as he managed to set eyes on his completely still wife.

Why was she here? Why wasn’t she with Teddy? She was not even a month past giving birth, she was in no state to fight. A horrifying realisation dawned on Remus – she must not have been able to sit at home while he was out fighting. This was his fault, it was all his fault just like all of the other problems that he and Tonks had ever had. It was his fault that they were laying here, dying or, god forbid, already dead. He had done this to her. He had killed his wife, he had orphaned their son and for that he surely deserved a fate worse than death.

Remus had to be sure she was gone, though. He could not do much, but he managed to just catch sight of his own hand laying next to her limp one. He felt the feeling slowly fading from those fingers, as if the sense of touch was recoiling from his sight. Still, he attempted to force his hand to work, edging it towards Tonks’ with all of his might. He could work out from the pain that his wrist was broken, but that did not matter. He outstretched a single finger, hooking his index finger around hers and giving a feeble squeeze.

He waited.

There was no response.

She was gone.

If Remus had possessed the ability to cry at that point, he would have. But he did not.

As some cruel punishment, his entire ability to move that hand disappeared. He was stuck, his finger intertwined with his dead wife’s. Her hand was still but warm, and Remus expended all of the energy that his brain wanted to use on screaming and crying into trying to squeeze Tonks’ finger, but his consciousness was beginning to slip. Moving his finger felt like lifting Hogwarts off of its foundations.

Tonks, it seemed, could move castles easily.

Remus felt his hand grabbed abruptly, so much so that his whole body jolted with a curious mix of shock and pain. That jolt moved him more than he had moved the entire time he had been on the ground, and his head arched back as he attempted to call his wife’s name.

The name _Dora_ became another cough, this time accompanied by an even stronger taste of blood. It trickled from the corners of Remus’ mouth and trailed off into a sputtering gurgle. This was it. He was going to die, just as he had found out that Tonks was alive. The world first turned blurry around him again, then slowly started fading from dull colour to black.

He could not see. Then he could not smell or taste, perhaps the only reprieve of the entire situation. Slowly, the pain seemed to retract from his extremities first, numbness travelling up his arms and legs. His hearing was all that remained, but he could hear little more than his own gargling. The one other sound he could hear seemed to be getting closer.

_‘ – dam Pomfrey – over here!’_

_‘ – mus, Re -- up Remus!’_

_‘—not dead either –‘_

_‘ – Armistice is almost ov – et them out of h –‘_

Remus’ hearing faded into more thudding, but this time it was not a pulsing in his ears. Instead, it faded into slow, dull heartbeats which seemed to be getting further and further apart. He lost the capacity to even think, fully succumbing to the all-too-enticing unconsciousness.

 


	2. Tend To Our Wounded

Everything was dark.

Remus wasn’t sure if he was floating or running or standing or –

In the distance, a face appeared. The only thing illuminated in the otherwise pitch black was a woman whose appearance he recognised but her expression he did not. Red eyebrows furrowed harshly and an expression of disappointment – no, _disgust –_ washed over Molly Weasley’s face.

‘You should be sorry that you’re alive, Remus.’

A light seemed to bear down on him too now, as if he was Molly’s scene partner in a stage production expected to produce his scripted response. Instead, he remained frozen as Molly’s face flickered, first out of view entirely and then flashing back up closer in front of him.

‘You couldn’t hold your own against Dolohov,’ Molly continued, her voice low and snarling, ‘you _useless_ wizard.’

Remus felt as if every word was a barb Molly was flinging into his flesh, each one worse than any curse the aforementioned Death Eater had inflicted upon him.

‘You did nothing, and Arthur had to come in and clean up your mess,’ Molly continued, but she was cut off by another voice that Remus knew.

‘That’s just how he _works,_ Molly. Everyone else has to pick up for him – the only reason Nymphadora was there is because she knew that her _infant son_ could look after himself better than her husband.’

Andromeda Tonks had been known to have a sharp tongue at times, but nothing that vile and cutting had ever come from her mouth before. Her gaze was piercing, and Remus remained distraught and speechless.

‘Nothing to say, I see?’ Andromeda hissed, and yet another face appeared in front of Remus, this one less familiar than the others. Remus had seen it in pictures, though – and the face was strikingly similar to Molly’s.

‘Never bloody has anything to say, this one – gets my dad killed and puts my oldest friend in danger and doesn’t even have the courtesy to meet me,’ said the red-headed man, ‘It’s _Charlie,_ you know – Weasley, like _Arthur,_ who’s _dead._ ’

Remus’ throat seized up and he shook his head. He had always meant to meet Charlie, he knew that he had gone through Hogwarts with Tonks but with the war there just wasn’t the time. Just when he thought that three judging faces cutting him with words was as bad as it could get, a fourth appeared. His stomach plummeted.

‘Remus,’ Minerva McGonagall spoke in a voice that Remus _had_ heard before – though it had been many, _many_ years ago. ‘I expected Pettigrew to disappoint me. Perhaps even Black and Potter, what with their messing about… but _you?_ Well… I suppose you have proven me foolish enough to have thought more of you.’

_No!_

It was the first word that Remus had attempted to get out, but there had been no sound – not from Remus, anyway. There was a scoff from Charlie.

‘Oh, you want to talk now, huh?’

‘I suppose now that Remus has allowed so many to die thanks to him,’ Andromeda added, ‘he thinks the rest of us left behind have _plenty_ of time to talk.’

_Stop! Stop, please!_

No words left Remus’ mouth, but Molly seemed to read his lips and gave a scoff of her own.

‘ _Stop?_ Do you think Dolohov would have listened to _stop,_ Remus? Would he have listened when he killed Arthur? When he killed my brothers?’ Molly’s voice was as loud as Remus had ever heard it, his ears starting to ring as he cowered away from the faces. They only seemed to move in closer at that, disembodied and menacing.

‘Oh, I’m sure he tried asking them to stop, Molly,’ McGonagall chimed back in, much to Remus’ horror, ‘he always was a coward. Peter Pettigrew may have been a scared little boy but few had weaker convictions than Remus.’

_No, I tried, I didn’t mean for Arthur to d –_

‘Stop trying to talk, mate, it’s just embarrassing for you,’ Charlie shook his head disapprovingly.

‘Even if you _could_ speak to us, none of us would want to hear you,’ McGonagall added.

‘It would be better if you just… slipped away,’ Andromeda said, turning her nose up slightly and looking more like a member of the Black family than Remus had ever seen.

‘No, that’s too _good_ for him, Andromeda,’ Molly jeered, ‘he’d get to see his loved ones again.’

‘A courtesy he did not extend to you, Molly,’ McGonagall interjected, and Molly nodded resolutely.

‘He certainly did not –‘ Molly continued.

‘Yeah, he doesn’t deserve to see Dad –‘ Charlie began speaking over his mother.

‘Ted would be _mortified_ to have to see –‘ Andromeda’s voice joined in the fray.

‘For those beyond the Veil to have to see the shame –‘ McGonagall’s voice finally joined in, and after that the voices kept building, louder and louder. The faces got larger and larger, looming towards Remus, who seemed to be shrinking. He first collapsed to his knees, but the faces kept advancing. Remus could not think of a time he’d been more frightened – not facing Dolohov, not during either Wizarding War, not when he’d been attacked by Greyback as a child. This was far scarier – _rejection._ Rejection, ire and repulsion from those who he’d trusted, from those close to him, from people he was supposed to be able to call family. There was nothing that induced more anxiety in him.

Remus finally fell flat on his back, the cacophony of voices completely indecipherable but louder than ever, the faces still advancing on him.

At that moment, Remus Lupin thought he was dying.

He thought it was more than he deserved.

However, slowly, the voices began to fade. Even though he still could not make out the words, the voices seemed less callous and more conversational. Before he knew it, the faces had disappeared to make way for the pitch black again. His eyes had closed, and he was aware of it. Another pang of anxiety coursed through his whole body. If he opened his eyes again, the faces would return. Their unforgiving words would return at full volume, and Remus would wish for some sort of escape again. He was sure of it.

Remus was not sure if he had kept his eyes closed for ten seconds or ten hours. He was conscious of the act, and knew he could not continue it forever for fear of going mad. He took a small, measured breath in before opening his eyes.

There were no looming faces.

There were no bellowed taunts.

There was no darkness.

There was, however, an extremely blurry and somewhat familiar ceiling.

Remus closed his eyes again almost as soon as he had opened them, and it was then that he became aware that there was sunlight bearing down on his shoulder. It was warm, in stark contrast to the cold darkness that had enshrouded what he now deduced had to be a dream.

Despite his logical mind accepting that what he had experienced was not real, he could not help but feel as if he was still reeling from its contents. He still had a pit in his stomach and worries rattling around in his head, and to top it all off he was now acutely aware of the physical pain radiating through his body.

Then there was the little matter of the voices still being there. The same voices speaking entirely different words. He opened his eyes again, this time to ascertain whether or not the voices were coming from their real, corporeal owners. This time, his eyes opening did not go unnoticed, but his bleary gaze was met with one that was unmistakeable, no matter how indistinct.

‘He’s awake – fetch a healer, now, he’s awake!’

The familiar face’s voice was like nothing Remus had ever heard from her before. McGonagall was always the height of composure, and though he knew that she cared for him, he had never seen her show it in such an urgent manner. Remus tried to sit up a little, but McGonagall strode over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking her head. Someone Remus did not manage to catch sight of rushed away, presumably for the healer McGonagall had asked for.

‘Don’t push yourself, Remus,’ she insisted, ‘wait for the healer.’ Remus couldn’t have struggled even if he wanted to, but he did manage to reach a hand up for McGonagall’s sleeve, grasping feebly at it.

‘Professor… where’s Dora? Where’s Teddy?’ He was almost startled to hear his own voice after its forced silence in his dream. McGonagall looked hesitant for a moment before another woman carried on the conversation, her own voice backed with the occasional hiccup. They were not her own, though, and Remus lulled his head to watch his mother-in-law approach the bed.

In her arms was a little boy with bright pink hair.

Remus had never felt such profound relief and fear at once. There was Teddy, his sweet son safe in his grandmother’s arms – but his _hair._ It was stark pink like his mother’s. His mother who, last Remus had seen her, was all but dead. It was as if Andromeda could read the look in her son-in-law’s eyes; perhaps it was because she had the same look on her face when she had first rushed into St. Mungo’s and had laid eyes on Remus. It wasn’t that she hadn’t wanted to see him alive, because the relief upon knowing that Teddy’s father was still alive was immense. It was that Andromeda and Remus had a shared priority other than the baby still hiccupping in his gran’s arms.

‘She’s still with us,’ Andromeda responded to Remus’ wordless question, motioning with her gaze to the other side of Remus. He turned his head and before anything, saw that same vaguely-familiar Weasley from his dream sitting in a chair beside him.

‘Oh, sorry, mate! Always in the way,’ Charlie put one hand on the arm of the chair he was sitting on, keeping his other hand on top of Tonks’ and scooting back a little to allow Remus to look past him. ‘C’mon now, Tonks, look! Your better half’s awake, it’s about time you were too…’

As Charlie scooted back once more, Remus could finally see Tonks’ face beside him. She looked peaceful – almost _too_ peaceful. Her hair was a natural brown and her face was still slightly battered and bruised. Remus was no healer, but he knew that the only reason external injuries were not cleaned up was because a mediwizard wasn’t sure if someone could survive the strain that extra healing spells put on their body. The slight tinge of purple covering both of Tonks’ eyelids and the slashes that still littered her cheeks and collarbones that were peeking out from the top of her gown told Remus that she fell into that category. She wasn’t stable. She was not out of the woods. She might wake up, but she also might not.

‘Dora…’ His voice was feeble as it left his throat as little more than a squeak, and if his eyes hadn’t been completely fixed on his unconscious wife’s face, then he may have seen Charlie turn his gaze to the floor. He may have seen Andromeda hold her grandson a little tighter. He may have seen McGonagall purse her lips and dip her eyebrows mournfully. He may have seen Molly Weasley guiding a healer directly to them before freezing and staring at him and Tonks, eyes wide.

‘… Mister Lupin, may I –‘

The healer made his way towards the bed, moving past McGonagall and squeezing in beside Charlie. Remus, still stunned with his stomach churning, managed to glance up at the wizard beside him who looked no older than about twenty. Still, he wordlessly nodded, and the healer pulled his wand out and began looking over him. Remus rested his head back and was about to shut his eyes when he met Molly’s gaze. Truthfully, though Molly had never been anything but kind to Remus, he expected some kind of scorn or disappointment. While her face gave away that she was grieving and tired, there was genuine light behind her eyes as she looked over Remus, now conscious before him. Remus kept eye contact with her, tears welling in his eyes. McGonagall was the first to notice, only a split second before Andromeda, who was still holding a hiccupping Teddy.

‘Andromeda, shall we see if the matron has anything for the wee one’s hiccups?’ she asked, and Andromeda nodded, reaching out to Remus and placing a hand quickly on his shoulder.

‘Minerva and I will have him back in a few moments,’ she reassured him, to which he replied with a quick look towards Teddy and a nod.

‘Yes, please…’ Remus gave the barest smile as Andromeda carried Teddy away, McGonagall following her – though not before she gave a careful glance to Charlie. He looked at his former Head of House, then to his mother, who was still looking at Remus. He then looked back at Remus and it seemed to click. He stood, giving Tonks’ hand a little squeeze as he did. He walked over to Molly, who looked up at him and reached up to place a hand on his cheek.

‘Just gonna go see if I can find something to eat, do you want anything, Mum?’ he asked, and Molly shook her head and pinched his cheek slightly.

‘No, I’m alright, dear. You go and find something to eat, you haven’t had anything all day.’ Molly gave Charlie’s cheek another little squeeze and he smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek before wandering off. The healer stood back, barely having noticed that the crowd around the beds had thinned out considerably. Molly continued to stand slightly further back than the healer at the end of Remus’ bed, watching quietly but not saying anything. Remus wasn’t looking at her, but instead focusing on the healer as he began.

‘You took quite a lot of damage, Mister Lupin,’ he started, ‘even our matron said she’d only seen one person take more spell damage than you and survive.’ Remus was not comforted in the least by this fact. The healer seemed to sense this and he cleared his throat.

‘We kept you unconscious with a draught for a few days – we gave you the potion to reverse the effects earlier today, so you’ve woken up on time.’ The healer paused for a moment, as if leaving a space for Remus’ immediate thought – _had Dora been administered the same reversal potion?_ Before he could ask, the healer had continued.

‘So, can you tell me where you are, Mister Lupin?’ he asked. Remus gave a little hum as he considered.

‘If I had to hazard a guess… St. Mungo’s?’ queried Remus, to which the healer nodded.

‘Yes, indeed. Now, you’ve been unconscious for around a week now, which may seem alarming, but is perfectly normal…’

It felt as if the ringing that had been residing in Remus’ ears before he fell unconscious had returned. If it had been a week, then…

He couldn’t remember the exact date of the battle but he was sure the next full moon was soon.

‘What’s today’s date?’ he asked abruptly, cutting the healer off with fear in his voice. The healer looked somewhat taken aback, but answered nonetheless.

‘Today is the 10th of May, Mister Lupin,’ the healer replied, calm as anything and with no additions. Remus felt a cold chill come over him immediately.

The tenth.

He sat more upright than he had since he awoke, his eyes wide and frantic.

_The full moon was the next day._


	3. Like Only A Mother Can Love

Remus lost his perception of time as soon as the healer had told him the date – it was only a day until the full moon and he’d been unconscious for what should have been his whole course of preventative potion. He was going to turn the next night, and they wouldn’t let him out of the hospital, they wouldn’t lock him away like he deserved to be locked away and he would attack the healers, he would attack the healers and the mediwizards and _Dora_ and –

As if a guiding light, Molly made her way over to the bed unnoticed by its occupant, grasping Remus’ hand gently and looking down at him. She gave a heartening shake of the head.

‘No need to worry, Remus, dear. They’ve given you Wolfsbane Potion every day of this last week,’ Molly’s voice turned from reassuring to worrying in what seemed like an instant as she turned to look at the healer, ‘your healer thought it best to keep your condition discreet in front of those who weren’t family, but nevertheless, I saw every dose being given. I _do_ have eyes.’

Calm melted away the deep freeze which had momentarily come over Remus, and this was soon replaced with an almost unwelcome warmth. If Molly knew that he had been given the appropriate Wolfsbane Potion over the last week, then she had _been at his bedside for all of those days._ Not two days after losing a son and after her husband had been killed by Remus’ own incompetence, she was here watching over him.

‘I was about to say –‘ the healer was interrupted.

‘I think Remus is filled in now.’ Molly’s voice was stern and unwavering. The healer just put his wand back into his robes with a small, sheepish nod before moving away from the bed and back out to the ward. Silence fell between Remus and Molly for a few moments, but Molly’s hand stayed on Remus’.

‘… Molly, I’m… I’m so sorry…’

Molly paused for a moment – but it was not to formulate some fake sympathy or reassurance for Remus. Even he could tell that she was taking a moment to remember her Arthur and her Fred before continuing on. He could not refuse her that. She sat down with a small sigh, scooting her chair right up next to the bed.

‘What are you _sorry_ for, Remus?’ she asked, shaking her head.

‘Molly… I’m sorry for… I – Arthur, Fred, I –‘ Remus couldn’t get the words out, and though tears welled in Molly’s eyes she was squeezing his hand tight, as if holding him with all the love and comfort she could muster.

‘So am I, dear, so am I,’ she managed with a sniffle.

‘I am… I’m sorry that I…’

Remus couldn’t continue the sentence, but Molly seemed to complete it in her head and she frowned deeply.

‘Remus Lupin,’ she began, glancing over at the unconscious Tonks before looking at the baby blanket over the back of the chair beside her.

‘Don’t you ever apologise for being alive.’

Molly was squeezing Remus’ hand and he hadn’t even realised that he was squeezing it back twice as hard. There were tears brimming in his eyes and Molly brought her other hand over, patting the back of hers and Remus’ intertwined hands. She stroked the back of his hand soothingly, and Remus briefly thought of his own mother holding him after a full moon, comforting his tiny, wounded self as he rested and recuperated.

‘I’m sorry.’ Remus shook his head, and Molly gave a brief and slightly hollow laugh, but considering her immense loss it seemed bountiful.

‘You really do need to apologise less, Remus,’ she shook her head, and Remus almost went to apologise for apologising too much before conceding and just giving a small smile, squeezing Molly’s hand once more before letting it go limp.

‘How is the family coping?’ asked Remus tentatively. Molly paused again, as if carefully considering her answer.

‘George is… well. Doing as well as can be expected. He’s taking it the hardest, of course,’ Molly trailed off, and Remus nodded. From his year of teaching the twins, he could tell that their shared love for pranks and mischief was not just an enterprise but a guise under which they could be inseparable. Fred and George, George and Fred, the Weasley Twins. Where one went, the other would follow. He imagined it would have been hard enough for George to learn how to be on his own, let alone cope with that along with the loss of his father.

‘Of course…’ Remus gave pause to let Molly continue.

‘Bill is being strong, and Fleur is certainly helping with that. Charlie is putting a lot of energy into watching over Tonks, he’s barely left her bedside – so has barely left yours, by extension.’ Molly gave a small glance over at the still unconscious Tonks, and Remus took a quick breath in. He wanted desperately to know if his wife had been given a potion to reverse the effects of her unconsciousness yet, but now was not the time.

‘Percy… he’s putting all of his energy into making sure everything is running smoothly with home and… _arrangements,_ ’ Molly uncharacteristically darted around the subject, but Remus nodded to indicate that he had understood. There had probably been mass funerals while Remus was unconscious, and there would probably be more to come once he was out of hospital and home.

‘Ron is doing okay… he, Harry and Hermione are supporting one another through it all, which I’m glad for. Ginny’s probably coping the best… she’s being strong. I just hope she isn’t bottling something up,’ said Molly.

‘I’ve never known her to hide things from those she loves, Molly,’ Remus tried to reassure Molly, and with a sad smile she agreed.

‘I hope that’s true,’ Molly once again trailed off, and they were bathed in silence until Remus spoke up a moment later.

‘… Are you coping, Molly?’

Silence.

More silence.

Molly took a sharp breath in, glancing up at the ceiling in a futile attempt to stop the tears which had already started streaming down her cheeks. She looked down at Remus, who was struggling to keep eye contact with her. Everything in his body was trying to force him to turn away, but he didn’t. He kept his gaze on hers as she cried. Eventually, Molly dipped her head, red hair curtaining her face as sobs wracked her body.

She didn’t let go of Remus’ hand the entire time.

Remus didn’t know if it had been a few seconds, minutes or hours, but eventually Molly’s crying subsided and she gave a little sniffle, wiping her eyes before looking at Remus and giving a sad laugh.

‘Sorry about that…‘

‘No, Molly,’ Remus’ voice was firm and adamant, ‘don’t apologise. _Please_ don’t apologise.’ Molly nodded and squeezed Remus’ hand, letting out a shaky sigh.

‘Alright, dear, I won’t,’ she smiled small, but the way she sat back tersely in her seat told Remus there was more on her mind. Something told him he needed to be the one to bring these things up, rather than letting them fester even once the scars appeared to heal. Confrontation was not Remus’ strong suit, not by a long shot. But he would take the risk for the grieving widow and mother beside him.

‘… I would be dead if it weren’t for Arthur. And…’ Remus took a deep breath in, ‘perhaps, if I had died… Arthur wouldn’t have.’ Molly almost winced at the words, but Remus continued nonetheless. He would continue until she said something, even if it was _stop,_ or _you’re right_ or _I wish you’d died instead._

‘You lost a son, and you lost the person who you would most want to lean on through his loss. I played a part in his death… I am truly impressed and shocked that you can even _look_ at me.’ Remus swallowed hard, and Molly shook his head insistently.

‘Could you imagine if he knew, Remus? If our positions had been opposite, Arthur would have been sitting here with you, too…’ Molly’s voice regained some stability that she had lost from her sobbing. Remus gave the barest smile.

‘That’s very comforting for me… but it’s not me that needs the comforting, Molly,’ said Remus. There was more silence, Molly leaning back in the chair with a heaving sigh after a moment.

‘Arthur and I spoke about what would happen if one of us passed more often than you might think, Molly replied. ‘And we were married for so many years… we used to joke that we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. And… while I can’t agree with you that you had any hand in Arthur’s death, I can say that even if you had… Arthur would have given his life for yours. If it came down to the both of you… he would want you to live. You have a wife, you have a new baby…’

Molly looked fondly over at Tonks, still unconscious in the bed across from Remus. He looked towards her too, her hands resting on a stomach which was, unsurprisingly, still swollen. She was only a few weeks post-partum, after all.

‘Arthur was an _incredible_ father… and an incredible husband. But that’s just the thing, Remus…’ Molly’s face was still red and tear-streaked, but the look on her face was warmer and more genuine. He looked up at her expectantly.

‘… He got to be an incredible father for so many years. Seven times over, he got to watch his children grow. He was there for them, and I know they all have enough fond memories of him to last a lifetime,’ said Molly. ‘And, goodness, Remus, he and I were together when we were at Hogwarts… we got to experience everything that love has to offer. We had true love, and we got to live in it.’ Tears were welling in Molly’s eyes again, but they did not seem entirely sorrowful. In the lull, Remus found he was now squeezing Molly’s hand and copying her in a second sense as he felt the tears in his eyes.

‘Arthur would have wanted you to experience that. He would have wanted you to be an incredible father to Teddy, to experience a lifetime of love with Tonks,’ Molly looked Remus directly in the eyes, ‘and I want that for you too.’ Remus’ tears were flowing more freely now, as were Molly’s. They sat there, once more in silence, Molly stroking the back of Remus’ hand with her thumb. She could see the fear in his eyes, the fear and the sorrow and the complete devastation his mind was trying to contend with.

‘I just… I didn’t deserve to survive more than Arthur did… more than _anyone_ did…’ Remus exhaled shakily, and Molly shook her head.

‘If death only took the ones who deserved it, there would never have been a war. But that’s not how these things work. Did Arthur deserve to die? No,’ Molly’s voice cracked a little, but remained resolute otherwise, ‘but did you deserve to die? Absolutely not. Does Tonks? Does little Teddy deserve to lose his parents? Worthiness and death have nothing to do with one each other. But _you…_ you need to realise why you deserve to be _alive._ There are so many things, Remus…’ Molly squeezed his hand again, and Remus gave a small, unsure nod. The Weasley matriarch was not at all convinced, so she began.

‘Remus, you fought so bravely, throughout the whole war, you have a new son, you’re only just married to the woman you love… and let’s not lie to ourselves, Remus. I may have lost my first love in this war… but you lost yours in the last one.’ Molly’s voice trailed off a little, and Remus laid his head back against the pillow behind him, shutting his eyes tight.

‘Molly, that’s not the same –‘

‘We may not have always seen eye to eye, but… what happened to Sirius was a fate worse than death.’

Remus swallowed hard.

‘We were practically children,’ said Remus.

‘Did you love him any less than Lily and James loved each other? They were the same age as you, and they had Harry,’ Molly replied, quickly. She knew Remus could not besmirch the love that the Potters had for one another.

‘You always come up with reasons that your love is wrong, Remus… with Sirius, it was that you were so young, you feared the prejudice. With Tonks, it was that you were too old and dangerous. You can’t keep _doing_ this to yourself.’ Molly was resolute and Remus lulled his head towards her, finally opening his eyes which were still teary. Molly reached up and pushed some of his hair soothingly away from his face, avoiding his bruised cheek and eye.

‘I know you’re frightened. Love is frightening but it’s _worth it,_ and even when you can’t see that you deserve it… those around you can. And I’m sorry to tell you, Remus,’ Molly gave a small smile, ‘but you’re a lovable man.’

Remus managed to give a tiny little smile, and Molly patted his hand once more before sitting back with a gentle sigh, reaching up to rub at the bridge of her nose. Remus dipped his eyebrows in concern.

‘Have you been sleeping?’ he asked, and Molly shook her head.

‘That’s the hardest part, I think,’ she managed, ‘sleeping in an empty bed.’ Remus’ stomach churned, but he tried to stay steadfast for Molly. She had just exerted so much energy to reassure him.

‘I’m so sorry, Molly…’ There was no self-pity in Remus’ words, and Molly seemed to be able to tell that. She smiled and simply nodded.

‘Thank you, Remus. It’s getting ever so slightly easier every day, but…’ she gave a small shrug, but Remus nodded.

‘I understand. It was so hard to readjust to the idea that Sirius was gone… it never gets easy, but it doesn’t stay this difficult, said Remus. Molly looked right at him and nodded in small thanks for the advice. ‘Sleep is hard, but it usually helps. You’ll feel better if you eat, too…’

‘You’re right,’ Molly nodded and stood, stretching a little, ‘I might go and find Charlie, he said he was eating… as long as you’re alright on your own.’ Remus glanced over to his other side, looking at his still unconscious wife.

‘I’m not on my own, Molly. You go,’ said Remus. Molly walked around Remus’ bed to Tonks’, leaning in to kiss her on the forehead.

‘It’s my turn to sleep, dear,’ she whispered, ‘and your turn to wake up.’ Tonks did not stir, and the room seemed to deflate a little more as Molly stood back, looking to Remus.

‘I’ll come back later, okay?’ she asked, and Remus nodded.

‘Thank you for everything, Molly,’ he said. Molly smiled before turning and heading silently out of the ward.


	4. Generations

Remus knew that his recovery was not going to be easy, but he hadn’t expected it to be this difficult. Things outside the hospital were starting to fall back into a routine, but he seemed to be stagnating. His visitors were thinning out a little – even Molly, who was still visiting daily, was cutting down the time she was there.

The world needed to go on, but Remus felt, quite profoundly, that his could not.

Remus just wished that Tonks had gotten the memo that things needed to continue on. It was time for her to wake up, but still, her eyes remained closed. She was alive, but Remus knew that even the St Mungo’s staff didn’t know if that was of her own accord, or due to the healing spells and potions she was receiving around the clock. Remus had been awake for three days now, and despite Tonks being administered more draughts that were supposed to wake her up, she had not moved.

Remus tried not to dwell on it, but with less visitors he found it difficult. Some of the only time he could take his mind off of it, and even then not entirely, was when Andromeda brought Teddy along to the hospital with her. His mother-in-law still visited relatively regularly, but even her resolve was dropping. Her usually composed exterior fell a little more every time she sat next to her still unconscious daughter. On this particular day, Andromeda had placed Teddy wordlessly on his father’s lap before going to immediately take up a seat beside Tonks’ bed, taking her hand and giving her daughter a seemingly telepathic lecture on why she needed to wake up.

Remus focused his attention onto his son, whose hair was a rich burgundy today, the colour of his grandmother’s curtains. He seemed sleepy today, and Remus let him lay against his chest, bringing a hand up to gently stroke his hair. A trail of brown hair followed in his fingertips’ wake, disappearing only a few seconds after it appeared. A small smile appeared on Remus’ face as he recognised the hair colour as his own, and he continued to gently touch the soft, downy hair on his son’s head until he heard footsteps approaching his bed. Remus presumed it was a healer, and so he spoke up in defence of the baby on his chest without looking up.

‘I hope you aren’t here to tell me that I’m not allowed to hold my son,’ said Remus, ‘because it’s not an instruction I intend to follow.’ His words were met with silence, and so he looked up to set eyes on the guest. Andromeda looked up as well and looked as if she had some vague recognition of the man, but it was nowhere near the recognition Remus had on his face. The bespectacled man looked to be about seventy, with thin, grey hair and deep creases around his eyes and forehead. He was tall and stood with a slight stoop, one that looked as if it was partly due to his age and partly due to his nature.

‘Remus…’

‘… Dad?’

Lyall Lupin took the steps forward he needed to close the gap between him and his son, reaching up to almost cradle his head as he squeezed his eyes shut. Remus leaned in towards him, and he would surely have hugged him back were he not cradling his own son. There was a small whisper that sounded like _my boy_ before Lyall moved back, looking over Remus’ still battered body.

‘Remus, I thought you were…’ his voice trailed off, to which Remus shook his head.

‘They brought us here during the armistice, word never got out…’ Remus replied, and Lyall almost went to pull up a chair and sit down when he realised that there was someone else in the room. He turned to Andromeda, and upon getting a better look at her, his eyes widened.

‘Why… Andromeda Black, as I live and breathe,’ Lyall remarked. Andromeda frowned small.

‘Andromeda _Tonks,_ but yes,’ she replied. Lyall’s eyes widened even more, turning back to Remus.

‘Andromeda B – _Tonks_ is your mother-in-law?’ he asked, incredulous. Remus nodded slowly and looked past his father to Andromeda, who gave a small sigh.

‘Your father expelled a poltergeist from our family home when I was a teenager,’ Andromeda answered Remus’ unspoken question. ‘I always presumed you were his son but I never thought to ask.’ Remus nodded slowly, and Lyall finally sunk into a chair beside both his son and his daughter-in-law, clicking his tongue and lolling his head to the side towards Tonks.

‘Is she still…’ Lyall trailed off.

‘Yes, but she’s been unconscious for... a while,’ Remus replied, his words getting caught in his throat for a moment. Andromeda seemed to tense at that, standing up abruptly.

‘I’m going to get some air,’ she spoke up as suddenly as she had stood, and it seemed as if she was being strangled by her tone. ‘Remus, do you need me to take Teddy?’ Remus shook his head, concern in his eyes. Before he could enquire as to how Andromeda was, she was already turning on her heel and leaving, obviously agitated. If Remus didn’t know better, he could have sworn he heard a small sob leaving his mother-in-law’s lips before she left.

Teddy writhed a little against Remus, and Remus looked down just in time to see Teddy expel what looked like all of his last bottle onto his father’s chest. Remus winced but was stuck holding Teddy, who smacked his lips before smiling contentedly and falling back to sleep. Before Remus could even look up to his father to request some help, he heard him mutter _scourgify._ The sick disappeared and Remus looked up to see Lyall pocketing his wand again.

‘Thank you,’ he muttered. Lyall shook his head and sat back.

‘Not a problem. You were always a slightly sickly baby, used to have to clean up the evidence before your mother had even seen you do anything. Kept her nerves calm, so it’s like a reflex now,’ Lyall mused, and Remus nodded slowly, glancing back down at Teddy. There was a dull pang in his stomach, remembering that his mother, who had been so compassionate and kind and understanding, would never get to meet her first grandson. The dull ache was replaced with a more acute one as his father spoke up again.

‘She should have woken up by now, shouldn’t she have?’ Lyall asked, and Remus swallowed hard. His father was an immensely smart man, but all his work with apparitions instead of humans had not honed his naturally lacking social skills. He had become more considerate of his words ever since the Greyback incident, but that did not mean he was always tactful. Luckily, Remus was well versed in dealing with his father’s indiscretion.

‘Yes. She should have woken up when I did, by all accounts,’ he said, his tone flat, ‘but then again… she is a Metamorphmagus. There are so few of them that they could have entirely different ways of healing…’ Remus’ voice trailed off as he made the point. He had never thought of it that way, but… surely, that was entirely possible. Perhaps Tonks’ body healed differently to others because of her abilities. It was enough of a spark of hope for Remus – at that point, though, he would have taken anything.

He was only awoken from his slight daydream when he heard Lyall speaking, though not to him.

‘Hello, Edward… it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Yes, too long…’

Lyall had only met his grandson once – and he had actually only met his daughter-in-law that one time, too. The state of the wizarding world had been too hectic for them to gather as anything even close to a family, but Remus and a recovering Tonks had brought Teddy briefly to Lyall’s home when he was barely two days old. All other correspondence had been through owl post, and the owls had been unreliable with all the conflict. Remus looked at his father and his expression softened a little. For a moment, he stopped thinking about the stressful situation.

‘… Would you like to hold him?’

Lyall looked up and stammered for a moment before nodding. Remus gave a small smile and, as he stood up to take his grandson from his son, Lyall gave an almost identical one. Teddy gave a gentle coo and he looked up at his grandpa with sleepy eyes.

‘Well, you’ve just gotten even more handsome since Taid last saw you, hm?’ Lyall murmured. Remus’ eyebrows raised a little, but not disapprovingly so. Last time he had spoken with his father, he had given him the responsibility of deciding what he wanted Teddy to call him. Remus immediately recognised that Lyall had picked the title from his late wife’s native tongue.

‘I hope that’s okay, by the way,’ said Lyall to Remus, and the latter looked up to see that his father had not taken his eyes off of Teddy. Still, he nodded.

‘Of course… Mum would have loved it,’ he added, and Lyall gave a small mournful smile.

‘She would have… Edward, I’m sorry you won’t get to meet your nain…’ Lyall’s voice trailed off, and Remus froze. In a split second, he put himself where his father was standing. He couldn’t stop hearing the words ringing in his ears, grotesquely morphing.

_Edward, I’m sorry you won’t get to meet your nain._

_Teddy, I’m sorry you won’t get to meet your nain._

_Teddy, I’m sorry you won’t get to see your nain again._

_Teddy, I’m so sorry you won’t get to see your mum again –_

Remus sat bolt upright and pain immediately shot through his gut. It felt as if he’d been stabbed. He leant forward and coughed, a small spatter of blood flying onto the white hospital sheets. The cough came again, with more blood and pain. Remus couldn’t stop himself from crying out, and Lyall looked up and seized up, holding Teddy tight.

‘Remus! Remus –’ At his grandfather’s yelling, Teddy awoke from the sleep he had now been woken from twice, and this time he started screaming. All the commotion had a healer heading over even before Lyall could call for one. She walked up expecting something relatively minor, but stopped as soon as she saw the scene. Remus had not stopped coughing blood and he was in incredible pain. It took a lot to pain Remus after his years of agonising transformations and the lead up to them, and Lyall knew this.

‘Mister Lupin –’ the healer began, heading towards the bed, but Remus was not responding. He was in too much pain, he was still coughing. The healer was surprisingly calm, but Lyall looked distraught. He wasn’t even paying attention to Teddy having his tantrum, he was just holding him steady as he watched in horror as the healer took her wand out, muttering something that Lyall was almost _certain_ contained the word _stupefy._

‘What are you doing?!’ Lyall exclaimed, but the healer didn’t look up. She cast the spell, but there was no great jolt of light. Remus gave a small lurch before laying back, his coughing ceasing as his eyes closed. It would seem as if he was only sleeping were it not for the blood. Unfortunately, with said blood, it looked rather like Remus was dead.

‘I’m sorry that it looked so alarming, Mister…?’ the healer paused, asking for Lyall’s name.

‘Lupin, I’m Remus’ father, and yes it _did_ look quite alarming –’

‘ _Mister Lupin,_ there is no need to panic. It was a very minor stunning spell, it allowed Remus to relax completely. Which is what needed to happen in order for me to look him over,’ she added quickly, and Lyall seemed somewhat unsatisfied.

‘An explanation beforehand would have been –‘

‘- Would have been delaying his treatment for seconds longer than necessary.’ The healer’s tone was not necessarily rude, but simply matter-of-fact. Lyall could tell that she had many years of experience with distraught families. He did have to admit, the fact that she was not panicking at all was likely more comforting than if she, too, was frantic.

‘… My apologies,’ Lyall replied. The healer shook her head, casting _tergeo_ quickly to remove some of the blood that was remaining on Remus.

‘No need for that. I’m just going to check Remus over now… you may want to take a quick wander for that. Perhaps go and check out the gift shop – there are some adorable stuffed toys down there that might amuse the little one,’ the healer continued to speak as she went through some of the preparation for examining Remus – again, her even nature was calming.

‘Oh? I suppose we could go and have a look, couldn’t we, Edward?’ Lyall’s voice was still a little shaky, but Teddy couldn’t have heard that even if he did understand what his grandfather was saying. He had settled back to sleep as quickly as he had woken up, though Lyall did take note that his hair had turned a slight red.

‘My personal favourites are the Nurse Niffler dolls – though, some say they _do_ have a habit of stealing much like the real thing. _I_ personally think it’s a myth,’ she shrugged, ‘but one shops at one’s own risk, I suppose.’ Lyall gave another smile and a quick _thank you_ before turning and walking out of the ward, still holding Teddy tight.

Eventually, the pair did find the gift shop, and the Nurse Niffler toys. Lyall thought they were cute but somewhat peculiar, seeing the small magical creature dressed in a Muggle medical professional outfit. Still, ever curious, he picked the stuffed toy up with a hand he freed up, and he watched it carefully consider the small, felt chart it was holding in one of its clawed hands. The chart then disappeared, and in its wake appeared what looked like a purple healing potion. It was an impressive toy, Lyall had to admit. Just as he was considering buying it, however, it reached up and tried to snatch the horn-rimmed glasses right off of Lyall’s face.

‘Oh – you --!’ Lyall scoffed loudly, putting the toy back on the shelf. At that exact moment, Teddy gave a small gurgle that sounded a lot like a laugh. Lyall looked down, pushing his glasses back on his face. Teddy stopped gurgling at that, so tentatively, Lyall pulled his glasses further down the bridge of his nose again.

Teddy gurgled.

And so, for the next few minutes, Lyall stood outside of the gift shop, pushing and pulling his glasses up and down his nose in order to make Teddy laugh – or at least something close to it. Eventually, he could tell that Teddy was getting tired again, and so he stopped riling him up in favour of rocking him gently as he went to head back to the ward. He figured he had given the healer sufficient time to look over Remus.

Upon reaching the spell damage floor of St Mungo’s and walking down a few hallways, Lyall couldn’t help but stop when he heard a familiar voice.

‘ _This_ is what you’re proposing you do for her?!’

Lyall knew that he should move along. This was a private conversation.

‘Mrs Tonks, this is not something that we had hoped to come to, you have to understand…’

‘I _have to_ understand _this_?’

Lyall couldn’t physically make himself move – it was as if he was frozen in place.

‘Mrs Tonks, _please –’_

‘Do _not_ “Mrs Tonks, please” me! You are telling me that just because my daughter has complex needs that none of you are equipped to deal with, that we are supposed to just sit back and _hope_ she gets better on her own?!’ Lyall had never heard Andromeda so hysterical, and he was fairly sure she had never _been_ so hysterical.

‘She may recover without magical support –‘

‘Or she _may_ die, so why don’t we just flip a sickle, hm? It’s just my daughter’s _life,_ after all!’ With a teary huff, Andromeda pushed a curtain back and began to stride purposefully away. She stopped after only a few steps as she saw Lyall, completely still and staring at her. She looked, first at him but then at Teddy, and that was enough. It looked as if she wanted to scream, wanted to yell at Lyall for eavesdropping and for letting a _baby_ overhear the news that there was nothing more that could be done for his mother.

Andromeda Tonks said nothing of the sort.

Andromeda Tonks only said one thing. One thing, in a whispered, teary and immensely shaky tone.

‘… _I don’t think she’s going to survive._ ”


	5. Withdrawal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter!

The day had come. The day they all dreaded.

The last attempt to wake Nymphadora Tonks was upon them.

The space around Remus’ own bed and the bed of his wife beside him was as packed as it had ever been but so, _so_ quiet.  

Lyall fronted the charge at his son’s bed, Andromeda doing the same at her daughter’s. Both parents were sitting at the head of their respective child’s bed, though Andromeda was sat between the two of them to still be near Teddy, who was sleeping in his father’s arms. Lyall was sat on the far side of Remus’ bed, quietly reading a copy of a niche quarterly magazine on apparitions, of which he was surely one of the only subscribers. It seemed cold to those who didn’t know him, especially when comparing his actions to Andromeda’s. She was holding her daughter’s hand tightly, stroking the back of it and shakily speaking all of the words she could think of to her. Any guise she had been putting up throughout this whole ordeal had fallen away.

‘That boggart outbreak in Lithuania is spreading,’ murmured Lyall, and Remus turned his head to glance at his father. He saw him looking stiffly ahead, hands scrunched too tightly around the fragile paper of the magazine. Remus knew that Lyall was not being cold – but he also knew that he had been through this exact thing.

It was his last trip home from Hogwarts as a student, just having completed his final NEWT, the summer that Hope died. He got off the train, farewelling his friends and looking for his parents who always came to pick him up. He found Lyall’s face first, and he looked fraught and panicked. He couldn’t see his mother, and his heart leapt into his throat. She had been sick for some time now, she wasn’t --

He strode over to Lyall quickly, and as he made his way through the crowd a pale, sickly looking woman was sitting beside Lyall in a wheelchair. Everything about her looked downtrodden and shaky, except for the expression on her face. That was one of complete love, joy and pride. Lyall gave a small smile before grabbing the handles of the wheelchair that Hope was sitting in and beginning to rush out of the crowded station. Everything was a blur as Remus rushed after his parents with his luggage in tow, piling into a car which was taking them somewhere entirely unfamiliar to Remus. When they were almost at their destination, Lyall told Remus where they were going – the hospice where Hope had been staying for three weeks already.

Remus spent the next ten days by his mother’s bedside.

Those were the last ten days of her life.

Remus didn’t have time to be upset that his father hadn’t told him about how far his mother’s condition had deteriorated. From what he understood, it had happened so fast that they had barely had time to settle down. He was also preoccupied by the fact that Hope had been completely adamant about coming to see her Remus home from his final year at school, despite every practitioner around her telling her it would shorten her life. Hope had not intended to tell him that fact, but in a pain medication induced haze it had slipped out.

Everything happened so fast, and the last day of Hope’s life was eerily similar to the scene playing out in front of Remus’ eyes in the present day. Many people came and went, most of them sobbing – Hope’s friends and colleagues, distant aunts and uncles and cousins . There were so many people, but all but Lyall and Remus left when it was time to, as the Muggles bleakly called it, _pull the plug._

With Hope, pulling the plug was literal. They switched off all of her life support systems and she slipped away relatively peacefully, surrounded by her husband and son.

Sitting in his hospital bed, Remus couldn’t help but this was the day they were, if only metaphorically, pulling the plug on Tonks.

Lyall, Andromeda and Teddy were not the only guests, though – not at all. Pomona Sprout was sitting at the foot of Tonks’ bed, chatting with McGonagall. Though she had not quite played the role in Tonks’ life that Minerva had played in Remus’, Pomona had still influenced Tonks’ life quite profoundly as her Head of House, and was most proud of her achievements.  Kingsley Shacklebolt had made the briefest of appearances. He was perhaps the second most sought after man in the wizarding world at that point in time, but still came to wish Remus the best and pay his respects. Seeing the new Minister for Magic with a grave look on his face as he stood beside Tonks’ bed did not exactly fill Remus with optimism. But Kingsley was a diplomat, not a healer, Remus had to tell himself. He could not know Tonks’ fate any more clearly than anyone else in the room.  

Molly and Charlie were steadfast as always in their visiting, but on this day were joined by Ron and Ginny. While Molly and Charlie did not leave their seats at the vigil, the two youngest Weasleys were coming in and out. Being surrounded by deaths unwillingly during the war, they found it hard to potentially volunteer themselves to see another.

Where Ron and Ginny were, Harry and Hermione were more often found than not, and sure enough they were making appearances here and there on the day in question. While Ron and Ginny had largely stayed with their mother and brother, Hermione was speaking to a nearby healer about all of the information she could gather on the complex needs of metamorphagi. Remus asked Harry to pull up a chair. He did so slightly awkwardly, though he also took some slightly macabre comfort that in the midst of the Tonks situation, he was not the centre of attention for once.

‘How… how are you, Professor?’ Harry asked, slowly, as if selecting his words carefully. Remus pursed his lips for a moment before glancing at his son, then Harry, then Tonks.

‘… As well as can be expected,’ he replied, before looking at Harry with concern, ‘and you, Harry? Are you looking after yourself? Are you safe?’ Harry nodded, glancing up at Molly.

‘Mrs Weasley has taken me in for the time being,’ he muttered. Remus frowned.

‘You didn’t answer my question, Harry.’ Remus’ voice was stern, and there was an underlying meaning that Harry had detected even before he had given his first answer. There was a pause, and Harry looked down at his lap before letting his gaze dart back up to Remus’. Remus sighed and nodded slowly and carefully.

‘I know… that I am perhaps the last person to speak on the matter of looking after yourself,’ Remus may have given a self-deprecating laugh in any other situation, but he stayed composed, ‘but… you have been through hell and back, Harry. Even if you can’t find strength to look after yourself, you have to let others…’

‘Professor, so many people gave up so much for me, I can’t just –‘ Harry was cut off by an adamant Remus.

‘And all of them would do it time and time again. And it wasn’t just for _you,_ Harry, it was for the good of everything the wizarding world knows and holds dear.’ Harry almost squirmed in his seat, his gaze fixed back on the floor.

‘People are _dead_ because of me, Professor, _so many people_ –’

‘Yes, Harry, and one of those people is Voldemort.’ Remus stated matter-of-factly, and Harry paused. It almost looked like he was holding his breath.

‘… And by doing that, you saved the lives of so many. You made the lives of those who will come after us safer. You made the world safe for my son. For your godson.’ Remus glanced down at Teddy, who was now awake, though still blinking sleepily. Harry’s jaw was still clenched, but he too was looking at Teddy intently.

‘I know me telling you this is not a cure-all. You won’t feel better straight away – in fact, you may think what I’m saying is absolute nonsense, but it had to be said.’ said Remus. Harry gave a small shake of the head.

‘No, it’s… thank you, Professor,’ he managed, and Remus gave the barest smile. ‘I’m sorry to bother you with this on a day like today, with all this family business going on -‘

‘Now _that_ is nonsense, Harry,’ Remus cut in, ‘you _are_ family.’ Harry felt the lump in his throat appear suddenly, and Remus could feel the same thing coming up, so he interjected once more.

‘Would you like to hold Teddy? He’s a lot bigger than when you last saw him,’ said Remus, and though Harry looked somewhat hesitant, he gave a nod. Remus sat up gingerly, still sore from his reinjury a few days ago. Harry leant forward to close the distance, taking the baby in his arms and looking down at him. There was only a second that passed before Harry’s eyes widened and he audibly gasped.

‘Professor, what happened to him? He has a scar –‘ Harry looked up at Remus, who looked over to Teddy and got quite a fright himself. After a moment, the fear subsided, and he looked between his son’s forehead and Harry’s own.

‘He takes after his mother,’ was all Remus said, and though there was still panic in his eyes for a few seconds, eventually it all came together. Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and gave the first smile that Remus had seen on his face in what seemed like years.

‘Teddy, you can’t do that, you scared the life out of me,’ Harry chided the baby quietly. Teddy paid no mind, his hair turning an inky black, even the strands that were hanging over the lightning-bolt shaped scar on his head.

‘It takes some getting used to, but it’s a little less shocking every time,’ Remus reassured Harry, who nodded. Their conversation was interrupted by a hand being placed on Harry’s shoulder. He turned and Remus looked up to see Ginny standing behind Harry.

‘Sorry to interrupt – oh, _wow,_ Teddy, that’s impressive…’ Ginny looked down at the baby in Harry’s arms, and gave a little laugh as she leaned in to stroke his chubby cheek gently.

‘Little bit terrifying, if I’m honest,’ Harry replied. Ginny nodded before looking up at Remus.

‘Mum told me his hair went bright orange the other day when Charlie held him,’ said Ginny, and Remus nodded with a little laugh.

‘He refused to believe his hair was that red. Claimed that Teddy was just giving him hell,’ Remus replied. Ginny laughed and shook his head.

‘Charlie _would_ say that,’ she added, the smile on her face fading slightly as she sighed, looking back to Harry. ‘Um. Mum’s said that we’re going to head out in a second… the healer is on her way.’ Remus froze slightly and Harry looked up at him, eyes wide and fraught. Luckily, ever the comforting energy, Molly swooped in behind them and looked over at Remus.

‘Would you like Teddy with you, Remus, dear, or would you like us to look after him for a while?’ Molly asked, knowing full well that Andromeda was in no state to be looking after her grandson. Remus swallowed hard and glanced over at Tonks, and then over to Andromeda. Ultimately, what made the decision was the quick glance he shared with Harry. Harry, the boy who had been there when his parents had been killed. He was only a baby, but the trauma still lingered. Even Remus, who lost his mother on the cusp of adulthood, considered it to be the worst moment of his life.

‘… Can you look after him, please?’ Remus asked, and Molly nodded immediately.

‘We can be back in little more than an instant if you need us, okay, dear?’ Molly asked.

‘Thank you…’ Remus turned his head towards his father, who closed his magazine. His face was pale and he looked almost ill. Molly noticed.

‘Lyall, will you join us? The house is still being mended, but there’s plenty of room. I know they aren’t strictly your area of expertise, but we do have what some consider to be a peculiar family ghoul…’ Molly’s voice was soothing but Lyall’s response was slightly stilted and stiff. Still, it was one of affirmation. He stood, turning and leaning down to embrace Remus.

‘ _I’m sorry I can’t be with you through this, son,_ ” Lyall whispered tearily. Remus understood perfectly, hugging his father and giving a small shake of the head. He imagined for a moment having to watch Teddy possibly lose the person he might one day love, and it pained him so much he had to stop. So he understood why Lyall could not stand by. Lyall stepped back, looking over at Molly who compassionately beckoned him.

‘I must tell you about some of our ghoul’s peculiar habits,’ she said, now with Teddy in her arms. She was looking at Lyall but gave a quick, reassuring glance to Remus. _Don’t you worry,_ her eyes managed to say, _I’ve got them._ Remus gave a sad smile as the Weasleys left, Harry and Hermione in tow. Professors McGonagall and Sprout were the last ones to leave, giving their best wishes and farewells just as the healer arrived, a somewhat ominous looking tray of potions and remedies with her. Andromeda, still sitting between the two beds of her daughter and son-in-law, reached back for the latter’s hand. Remus blinked, but then slowly reached out to grasp Andromeda’s hand.

‘… I’m frightened, Remus.’ Andromeda’s voice was uncharacteristically shaky. Remus drew in a quick breath before nodding.

‘Me too, Andromeda.’ Remus muttered back. Andromeda squeezed his hand before bringing her hand back to her lap, though her other hand was still firmly around Tonks’. The healer, the same one who had treated Remus during his rewounding a few days prior, set the tray down and looked at the both of them.

‘Remus, Andromeda,’ she said, her voice even and solemn, ‘I’m going to take you through what we’re going to do for Nymphadora –‘

‘ _Don’t_ call her Nymphadora.’

Remus blinked incredulously at Andromeda, who had just spoken up.

‘She… she prefers just _Tonks,_ is… is all,’ Andromeda’s voice fell again, and Remus felt a wave of sadness hit him abruptly. Andromeda always called Tonks by her full first name, and was usually quietly pleased when others did the same. With the prospect of Tonks’ mortality on the table, however, she seemed to be respecting any and all of her daughter’s wishes, even the more trivial ones.

‘My apologies… what we’re going to do for Tonks. We’re going to give her a fresh dose of restorative potions to give her body the best fighting chance to come to on its own. A blood-replenishing potion for any internal injuries, some Pepperup Potion to counteract general illness from being immobile for so long, and some Skele-Gro for any broken bones she may have. My assistant mediwizard will come in and perform a few healing spells meant to offset Dark magical damage.’ The healer gestured to a tall, dark-skinned woman what had walked in a few moments after her. Andromeda and Remus’ expressions were eerily similar – they, frankly, looked horrified.

‘I know this is overwhelming, but we find it is easier than having to stop the process halfway through to explain,’ said the healer. She gave a sigh before continuing. ‘Then we’ll administer some Wiggenweld Potion, strong enough to counteract any of the potions that have kept her unconscious. Finally, we will give her a bezoar as a catch-all for anything that may arise after the shift in her vital systems. My assistant and I will stand by to clear this from her throat if she awakes, or…’

‘… Or if she doesn’t.’ Andromeda managed, as if she was being strangled as she spoke. The healer just nodded, knowing full well that pity would not ease the pain.

‘Or if she doesn’t, we will be here to take the necessary measures. Do you permit us to proceed?” she asked. Andromeda looked down, tears welling in her eyes again. Remus shook his head.

‘Please…’ he managed, his voice teary, ‘… I want to be beside her.’ And slowly. Remus started to sit up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The healer’s assistant rushed to his side, helping to support him. Both she and her superior knew there was no point in trying to forbid him from sitting beside her, and so the healer strode across the ward to fetch a wheelchair, bringing it right up beside Remus’ bed. With assistance, he managed to make his way down from the bed to the chair, and the mediwizard wheeled him around to the other side of the bed.

He took Tonks’ hand in both of his own, and he was closer to her than he had been in days. He looked at her face, still unmoving and almost peaceful. Bot from this distance, he could see that she was completely revealed, no part of her disguised. Her hair was its natural brown, slight freckles and blotchiness evident on her face. Her nose had the slightest bump in it, and her jaw was slightly squarer than it typically was.

Remus recognised this version of Tonks from only one occasion. It had been for only a few moments, but she looked the same and just as peaceful.

Remus and Tonks’ wedding had been the smallest affair. Witnesses they had met barely hours before plus a wizarding pub they had heard, on good authority, served the strongest Firewhisky in the county. Remus wore the best suit he owned, and Tonks the only dress she owned. They spent the night before altering the clothes - they took turns mending Remus’ clothes and adding Tonks-approved flair to the dress. A beautiful old Scottish woman named Mary, who was only a witness but Tonks had claimed as her maid of honour, had picked a bouquet of wildflowers for Tonks to hold. Before the meagre ceremony, Tonks plucked one of the flowers from her bouquet and, instead of placing it in Remus’ lapel, reached up and tucked it behind his ear with a wink. The wedding was wonderful, the firewhisky was as strong as advertised and the wedding night was private, because as Tonks had said, it’s rude to consummate and tell - though, _consummate_ was always accompanied with air quotes and a trademark wink.

It was the morning after their wedding that Remus had seen Tonks as she was in the present moment. She had been entirely at ease, comfortable and content and _happy._ Despite everything that had been going on around them, the day had been perfect. _She_ was perfect, Remus thought, watching the sun rise, slowly bathing his wife – _his wife –_ in sunbeams. Her hair was not a wild colour, there were no duck bills or pig noses (not that Remus didn’t find those amusing). It was just Tonks.

He had felt such joy when he had first seen her like this. Now, he felt absolute dread.

‘Are you both ready?’ the healer asked. With a deep breath, Remus nodded, as did Andromeda.

The process began with the potions, being administered with some magical assistance as Tonks was not conscious to swallow them. Then the mediwizard performed the necessary spells before the healer came back with what appeared to be labelled as the strongest Wiggenweld Potion available. Neither Remus nor Andromeda missed the somewhat nervous glance the healer gave to her assistant before administering a hefty dose of the potion, waiting precisely seven seconds before taking a sizeable bezoar and placing it in Tonks’ mouth and massaging her chin and throat to settle it into place.

Once she was satisfied that it was in place, she stepped back. She looked at her assistant, who pulled out a small pocket watch.

One minute passed.

Silence.

Five minutes passed.

Silence.

Ten minutes passed.

There was a click of the assistant shutting her pocket watch. Andromeda wailed. The healer looked to Remus.

‘… I’m so sorry.’


	6. The Fear of Falling Apart

The next few minutes of Remus’ life passed silently in front of him. He was nothing more than a spectator to everything that was happening. His gaze was fixated on his unmoving wife. He was frozen.

He did not notice that in his periphery, Andromeda was still wailing, being held up by the healer who was motioning to her mediwizard assistant and then to Remus.

He did not notice the mediwizard approaching him, crouching beside him with a sympathetic expression on her face.

He did not notice the way she looked over to the healer, who had managed to get Andromeda back into the chair before giving a small nod.

He did not notice the mediwizard drawing her wand.

He did, however, notice everything disappearing in front of him, making way for nothing but bright white emptiness.

He looked around, and only then noticed that he was no longer sitting but standing. There was nothing behind him, so he turned back and was startled by the shocking-pink-haired woman standing in front of him.

‘Wotcher, Remus,’ she said, clasping her hands behind her back and ricking back and forth on her feet. Remus’ eyes widened and he gasped, taking a little step back. He looked up, down, left, right, and then straight back at Tonks.

‘… I’m dead.’

Tonks’ face remained stony for three seconds, at a stretch. She then sniggered, holding her lips firmly together for another second before letting a laugh burst forth.

‘ _No,_ you’re not, you dope,’ she nudged him in the side, and he brought a hand up to where she had contacted him. He could not feel her touch or his own. ‘You think that mediwizard bumped you off or something?’

‘What mediwizard?’ Remus asked, his voice fraught. Tonks sighed and reached out to link arms with Remus, standing alongside him and beginning to stride forward into the nothingness. Remus could feel none of this, but went along with Tonks nonetheless. He had a strange feeling that some invisible force would have prevented him from holding her back, even if he had wanted to.

‘She just knocked you out. Couldn’t have you sitting there gormless forever, could they?’ she asked. Remus looked to Tonks, his expression troubled.

‘… Dora, are you…’

Tonks winced a little, glancing around at the ethereal space they were occupying.

‘… Doesn’t look great, does it?’

Remus felt most profoundly that he wanted to crumple to his knees there and then, but that invisible force kept him upright and walking beside his wife. He found himself simply looking her up and down in a panic, as if trying to take in everything about this strange dream – or was it a vision? Either way, Tonks’ outfit was as white as their surroundings; it comprised of a short white dress over tights, sans shoes. It was an outfit that her corporeal counterpart would say, despite the terrible taste and timing, she would never be caught dead wearing.

‘Dora… please, no, you can’t be –‘

‘Remus, love,’ she appeared to squeeze his arm tighter, but he felt nothing, ‘you know that’s not true. You know that I can be dead. And… like I said. Not looking great for me down there, is it?’ Tonks asked, almost wincing as she saw Remus’ eyes welling up. ‘Hey, _hey,_ no, come on, if you cry then I’m going to cry, and we all know _that’s_ not pretty.’ Remus managed a little laugh, and that had Tonks smiling once more, sighing as she looked ahead and continued to walk. Silence fell between them for only a moment, before an anxious Remus spoke up again.

‘How am I supposed to look after Teddy?’ he asked, and Tonks shrugged small.

‘You’ve done a pretty fantastic job so far,’ she mused, ‘and I’m afraid my cure-all for him is to just stick a boob in his mouth when he’s upset, and it’d be a little strange if you tried that.’ Remus laughed again despite himself – there was a part of him that wanted to ask Tonks to stop joking, this was serious, she was – he couldn’t even _think_ the word. There was a larger part of him that couldn’t help but feel at ease with her crude humour and ease.

‘Honestly, though, Dora… I’m… I’m scared,’ Remus admitted, stumbling over his words a little, ‘I… I lost my mother at the very end of my childhood, and it… it still _changed_ me.’

‘I know, love,’ Tonks replied, ‘hell, I’ve felt a change since losing Dad… but he’ll make the most of it. He’s got so many people around him, he’s got the bloody Chosen One as a godfather, he has a couple of doting grandparents, and most importantly, he has a handsome dad who’ll snap him up a new step-mum in seconds.’

‘Dora, I –‘

‘Or step-dad, it’s cool, his parents swing both ways, it shouldn’t be a _secret,_ so like –‘

‘No, Dora, that’s not –’

‘I mean _obviously_ you don’t have to tell him about that right now, he’s a _baby,_ that’d be ridiculous –‘

‘ _Dora, please!_ I – I shouldn’t have even had your love, let alone finding another now that you’re…’ Remus’ voice trailed off abruptly, as if it had cracked. Tonks pressed her lips firmly together, letting a sharp breath out through her nose.

‘Now that I’m dead?’ she asked, her tone unusually abrupt. Remus stayed silent, and Tonks could hear his slightly ragged, anxious breaths. Eventually, they slowed, and he looked to her.

‘… _now that you’re dead,_ ’ he whispered. Tonks kept walking, staring down at her feet.

‘Remus… you have been the greatest love of my life. Which is saying something, because I have had some _excellent_ shags over the years,’ Tonks gave a little laugh, but Remus did not this time. He was firmly rooted in processing the fact that he had said that his wife was dead, and said wife sighed. ‘I got to get married. I got to have a _baby._ I never thought I’d get to be a successful Auror _and_ do that. And if I’d had to pick one, well… Teddy probably wouldn’t be here. There was only really one way for me to get the best of both worlds… and that was by finding _you._ ’ Remus took a moment to look up, but Tonks still had her gaze fixed to the floor.

‘I…’ Remus’ voice faltered, try as he might to comfort his wife there and then. Still, she seemed to know, and she reached out without looking to grasp his hand. He watched as she did this, and he could have _sworn_ he felt it, even though he knew he couldn’t possibly have.

‘I don’t want to go, Remus,’ Tonks said, her voice quiet, ‘but if it’s my time, it’s my time. You know if I didn’t have to go I wouldn’t. There’s so much I still want to do…’ It was Remus’ turn to move to squeeze Tonks’ arm now, but it appeared that she could not feel it either as she continued to walk.

‘I’m sorry, Dora,’ Remus offered, but Tonks shook her head and gave a little sniffle, clearing her throat.

‘S’alright,’ she managed, reaching up to wipe at her nose with her sleeve, clearing her throat again. ‘It’s like I said. It’s not like we get to pick and choose who lives and dies in situations like this… and hey, I think I had a pretty good run. I guess it was kind of nice to see everyone visiting,’ she added.

‘You knew they were there?’ Remus asked, and Tonks nodded.

‘Yeah,’ she sniffled, giving a little smile, ‘I swear, when Teddy spewed on Charlie, I was so proud it almost jolted me awake,’ she managed a little laugh, as did Remus.

‘It’s strange that he can handle dragons with ease, and yet babies…’ Remus shook his head.

‘Look, I think it’s a miracle he hasn’t dropped Teddy – at least, not that I’ve seen – wait, he _hasn’t_ dropped Teddy, has he?’ Tonks asked, eyes wide.

‘No, no! I mean – not that I _know_ of. I have faith that Molly wouldn’t let that happen,’ Remus replied. Tonks’ expression softened, and she gave a warmer smile.

‘Molly’s been a bloody saint, hasn’t she?’ Tonks asked. Remus nodded emphatically.

‘Especially with the… circumstances,’ Remus approached the subject tentatively – he didn’t know if Tonks knew about the other casualties.

‘God, yeah, the poor family… can’t quite believe I’m not going to see Arthur again. And poor George, he must be a _wreck,_ ’ Tonks sighed, shaking her head.

‘He’s taking it as well as he can, I’ve heard,’ Remus replied. Tonks gave a nod, clearing her throat as she kept walking.

‘Let them help you, alright? Molly’d easier move the heavens than see you struggle,’ Tonks gave a small frown as she glanced down at the ground, ‘so would I.’ She reached up to wipe at her nose, and Remus sighed small.

‘Dora…’ Remus whined almost plaintively, and Tonks looked up at him immediately. There was a determined look in her eye, one that she didn’t break out often. She was not the disciplinarian type, and the chiding look in her eye really didn’t fit her general anti-establishment sentiment.

‘Remus, I’m not messing about here,’ she snapped slightly, ‘you’ve suffered enough, and you _know_ plenty of that was self-inflicted. It’s not just you that you’ve got to worry about now. Teddy can’t fend for himself… if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for him. And I don’t want any disagreement on that – you _know_ what it’s like when we get into those.’ Tonks swallowed hard, and Remus’ eyebrows dipped. There had been only a few arguments in their time together, and most were relatively banal and ended up with compromises; Remus would stop bringing Dark creatures into the flat if Tonks would stop putting her cold feet on his back in bed. One argument, if one could even call it that, was unquestionably the worst.

The lead up to Teddy’s birth had been tense for many reasons, not the least of which was the war itself. But perhaps the reason that shook foundations the hardest was when Remus had fled. He up and left his pregnant wife, who was already agitated by her inability to fight in the conflict. He was free to roam and on top of that, had the _audacity_ to try and abandon her. She caught him leaving, and they argued for a relatively small time considering the rift it left. Remus was forced to realise that he had been wrong, thanks to some forcible convincing from Harry and some of his own contemplation over a Firewhisky or three. It was then that he knew he had a lot of making up to do.

The resolution came slowly, and certainly not on the night that Remus returned home. That first day, it was Ted who had opened the door of the place he would later have to flee from. In one of the final times he would ever see his son-in-law, it was a miracle that Ted Tonks did not hex Remus right out of the doorway. He was mild-mannered, but not when it came to anyone hurting his Dora. He was turned away that first night, but determined and positively repentant, he returned.

The second time, Andromeda opened the door, and Remus was grateful that she, too, did not hex him. However, he came to regret this as the verbal spray that was unleashed upon him was perhaps worse than any Dark magic he knew. Her tirade was stopped by a hand grabbing at her arm, and for a moment Remus was hopeful. He caught his wife’s gaze for only a moment – it was harsh and razor-sharp, and he saw a flicker of fire-engine red hair before the door closed on him once more.

It took the third return to the hideaway for Tonks to answer the door. It was after much arguing from her parents, but she traipsed to the door, opening it and standing firmly in front of Remus. Despite her having to crane her head to look at him, Remus felt like he was two foot tall. Tonks’ jaw was clenched, but Remus didn’t say anything. They stood there for ten minutes, both Ted and Andromeda taking turns checking on the situation, both armed with their wands. Eventually, Tonks broke the silence.

Remus Lupin had never been more glad to sleep on the couch in his life.

From there, their reconciliation was relatively prompt. Remus spent one night alone on the couch, and the second night Tonks happened to find her way down to the couch after one of her frequent night-time bathroom trips. Remus slept on the floor that night, as he immediately vacated the couch for his pregnant wife and she was far too swollen and sore to protest. He moved back into their bed the next night, and even managed to make peace with his parents-in-law before Ted’s untimely demise.

He had been very careful to rebuild his and Tonks’ relationship after his indiscretion, and he would do nothing to destabilise that again if he could help it. Not even if Tonks was no longer on the same mortal plane that he was. He looked down to Tonks, nodding firmly.

‘I do… and I’ll try to do it for the both of us. And for you,’ he managed, swallowing hard. Tonks did the same, coughing slightly to fill the silence that lingered after the mood change. Ever the outgoing on, Tonks was the one to break it.

‘I have a couple of portraits, y’know,’ she piped up, and Remus’ eyes widened slightly. ‘You don’t have to look so _shocked,_ I’m very famous in certain circles, Remus Lupin.’ She looked up at him with a smirk, and he returned a small smile of his own.

‘I know, I know…’ Remus trailed off, looking expectantly at Tonks to continue.

‘Well, Kingsley will probably know where the good one is. They did one of me when I finished my Auror training, so at least I don’t look absolutely tragic in that one,’ she stopped there, but Remus picked up on a discrepancy.

‘… You said you had a couple?’ he asked, and Tonks let out an absurdly long sigh.

‘… I’d rather you just stick to the Auror one, but… Mum had a portrait done of me when I passed my OWLs.’ Tonks’ face, not her hair, flushed a slight red.

‘Oh… well, that…’ Remus bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh at the thought of fifteen-year-old Tonks, likely sullen and broody, stuck inside a picture frame. He couldn’t help but give a little snicker.

‘Oh, _sod off,_ ’ she smirked, rolling her eyes, ‘she’s a little brat but even I can’t deny that she’s still mostly accurate. She looks like the wreck of the Hesperus but she… she’s me,’ Tonks stopped abruptly, bringing a hand up to her chest and coughing.

‘Dora? Are you alright?’ Remus asked, bringing a hand up to Tonks’ back.

‘Yeah, yeah… wish this place had a drink of water, though,’ she managed a little smile, though her words seemed wheezy. Despite this, she didn’t stop walking, still wheezing and coughing.

‘Dora, are you –‘

‘ _Remus!’_

Remus turned around to the vaguely familiar voice, but he couldn’t quite place it – and it seemed that Tonks had not heard it.

‘Dora, wait –‘

‘ _Remus!!’_

Remus tried to get Tonks to stop walking, but she kept going, coughing harder and harder. He continued on with her, but after a couple more cries he could at the very least place the voice.

‘Dora, that’s your mother, can’t you hear her?’ Remus asked, raising his voice over the sound of her coughs. It seemed a futile effort, though, as she kept coughing without responding. The cries continued, and then all of a sudden Tonks fell straight onto her back, hard. Remus gasped, but no sooner had he gone to cry out that he too was flat on his back, staring up into the ether. He blinked, and the hospital ceiling appeared in front of him once more.

‘D – Dora, _Dora –‘_ Remus tried to sit up, grasping hands reaching out as he struggled to breathe from the shock. The mediwizard pushed him back, but Remus overpowered her, sitting up to crane his head in front of her. She was standing between his bed and Tonks’. Remus only managed to catch sight of Andromeda’s shock-stricken face before falling back. He didn’t know what was happening, why had Andromeda been calling out? _Had_ she been calling out? Or had it all been a grief induced stupor?

His answer came when the mediwizard came around to Remus’ side, holding his shoulder back and attempting to get him to stay still. He remained laying back in the bed, but managed now to turn his head towards the bed where Tonks had been. He was half expecting her to have been taken away, hence Andromeda’s cries. The other half of him expected to still see his dead wife laying there.

Instead, he was met with the healer holding a saliva-coated bezoar in her hand, an incredulous look on her face.

There below her, with her eyes still shut, was Nymphadora Tonks.

Her mouth was open.

Her chest was heaving.

She was _alive._


	7. The Soldieress

Remus swung his legs over the side of the bed all too quickly, and his lumbering and still-too-weak frame all but collapsed across the gaps between his bed and his wife’s. He managed to catch himself on the railing just as the mediwizard pulled her wand out. Remus felt a fait force pushing against his chest, preventing him from toppling forward fully onto Tonks. He was unusually careless though as he moved up the bed, hand over hand on the cold metal of the bedside. He did not thank the mediwizard for preventing his injury, but she seemed to understand, watching his gaze fixate on Tonks’ face.

‘Dora? Dora…’ Remus was standing with a severe stoop at Tonks’ bedside, and he would have reached out to touch her were it not for fear of collapsing. He was watching her face intently for any sign that her eyes might soon open. He heard Andromeda reach over to grab her daughter’s hand, and he looked up to see her hands shaking like leaves, clasped around her daughter’s. His gaze flickered quickly back to Tonks’ face, as if not wanting to miss any potential signs of life. He found himself shaking now, his arms feeling as if they could not brace him up much longer. He so desperately wanted to see something, _anything_ in his wife’s face that would tell him she was going to be okay. Andromeda finally spoke up in a voice as shaky as Remus’ limbs.

‘My darling… we’re here, I’m here, Remus is here… please, _please,_ Nymphadora.’

The woman laying in the hospital bed unmistakably scrunched up her nose, as if there was a foul smell in the room.

Andromeda let out something akin to a delighted gasp, squeezing Tonks’ hand tighter. Remus felt an instant wave of relief, but with that his shakiness only worsened. He collapsed backwards, entirely expecting to fall onto the floor – but the mediwizard had prepared, placing a wheelchair behind him pre-emptively.

‘Thank you,’ said Remus, earnestly, looking to the mediwizard before looking at the healer, still holding the bezoar covered in Tonks’ spittle. ‘ _Thank you._ ’

‘Not a problem,’ she said, placing the bezoar on a tray beside her and carelessly wiping her hand on the front of her robes, ‘we’ll give you some time before we check her over.’ The healer nodded towards the mediwizard, and they both took their leave from the bedside.

Remus moved his chair right up against the bed, taking Tonks’ other hand and bringing it up to press a kiss against the back of it. Tonks stirred slightly more, shifting as if she had simply been disturbed from a good night’s rest.

‘ _Y’need to shave_ ,’ she whispered, her voice husky and small. This in and of itself seemed to startle her into realisation, and her eyes blinked open, quickly but wearily. She winced at the light, shutting her eyes again and blinking a few more times before finally opening her eyes.

‘Wh – what happened, where – where am I, where’s Teddy, where’s – _ah!_ ’ Tonks winced harder as she turned her head towards Remus.

‘Dora, stop, _breathe,_ Teddy is fine, you…’ Remus looked up to Andromeda to take over, which she did so dutifully.

‘Darling, you were terribly injured in the battle… you’ve been unconscious for a long time, you _must_ take it easy, Nymphadora.’ Andromeda squeezed Tonks’ hand, and she swallowed hard as she let her head settle back into its original position.

‘Is it…’ Tonks looked to Remus, who nodded without needing clarification.

‘Yes, it’s over,’ he said, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. ‘It’s all over.’ Tonks’ eyes brimmed with tears before she squeezed them shut again, taking in a great heaving breath and letting it out shakily.

‘Did we –‘ Tonks stopped abruptly, sniffled and then continued, ‘who… who else did we lose?’ She was not naïve enough to ask _if_ they had lost anyone. This had been war, it was inevitable that they would lose somebody. Remus looked over at Andromeda, who hesitated.

‘Darling, we don’t want to burden you with that right away, we –‘

‘Mum, I have to know, I… I _have_ to,’ she managed to whisper, her speaking still incredibly strained. Andromeda looked to Remus, who swallowed hard before steeling himself.

‘Arthur and Fred,’ he began, and Tonks seized up immediately at the names. Remus continued nonetheless. ‘Severus, too. But they didn’t give their lives in vain, Dora… Voldemort is gone.’ Tonks nodded, though it was stiff and small. The tears were running down the sides of her face, and sobs wracked her shoulders.

‘Is everyone else safe?’ she asked. Remus glanced down.

‘I can’t say for sure… the both of us have been in here for quite some time. But the rest of the Weasleys are alive and doing their best… Harry and Hermione are doing as well as can be expected.’ Remus continued stroking Tonks’ hand, and she gave a more fervent nod this time, though it was obvious that it pained her.

‘Good, good,’ she trailed off, as if waiting for Remus to continue down the long list of people who were still alive and well.

‘Professors McGonagall and Sprout have both been here, so they’re safe… and Kingsley managed to pass through, though he’s busy with his ministerial duties –‘

‘I’m sorry, _what?’_ Tonks asked, opening her eyes to look at Remus.

‘Kingsley is the acting Minister of Magic,’ Remus clarified, ‘though I can’t imagine a wizard more fit for the job to take over permanently.’ Tonks nodded small, shutting her eyes again.

‘Too right,’ she managed, wincing before settling back against her pillow.

‘Darling, are you in pain?’ Andromeda asked, and Tonks shook her head slightly, but that only had her wincing harder.

‘No, I’m fine,’ Tonks insisted, but Andromeda furrowed her eyebrows.

‘I’ll have them fetch you something for the pain,’ she insisted, standing up more purposefully than she had the whole time Tonks had been unconscious. Tonks sighed.

‘Mum, please, I’d rather you go and get Teddy –’

‘I can do both, Nymphadora, I’m not incapable,’ Andromeda replied, and the words may have seemed insensitive to anyone who didn’t know the mother and daughter. Remus knew better, and watched as Andromeda left with a smile on her face and renewed hope in her chest. Tonks gave Remus’ hand a little squeeze as she looked at him. She gave a little sniff, before laughing small.

‘Bloody hell, I _stink._ Sorry you’ve had to deal with this for…’ Tonks trailed off, not knowing how long she’d been unconscious for.

‘A couple of weeks,’ said Remus, ‘but you’re fine. Teach droves of teenagers for a year and nothing smells quite as bad anymore.’ Tonks gave a little snort, and as the laughter rippled from her throat she brought her free hand to her stomach.

‘ _Blimey,_ I am sore…’ she muttered, rubbing gently at her paunch.

‘Is that really a shock?’ Remus asked. ‘You gave birth and fought in a war in the span of a few weeks. The fact that you’re even still alive is…’ Remus felt his voice hitch in his throat slightly, and he coughed small. ‘Is a _miracle,_ Dora.’ Tonks managed to turn her head towards Remus slightly, and despite the pain, she reached over with her spare hand to place it on top of Remus’. He opened his mouth to protest but she raised an eyebrow and he paused.

‘I’m… not one for metaphors, unlike my sentimental fool of a husband,’ she smirked, ‘but I’m really glad that I’m safe. That you’re safe. And that it’s all over…’ she swallowed hard, and Remus tilted his head slightly as he smiled at her.

‘Take it from this sentimental fool,’ he murmured, ‘it really is over. And I’m just as glad.’ Tonks managed a little smile, linking her fingers with Remus’ as she rested her head back.

‘I can’t believe it’s been _weeks,_ ’ she murmured to herself, lifting a hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose. She winced slightly, before reaching up to gingerly touch the rest of her face. She found sore spots all over, and she exhaled shakily before letting her hand fall to her side. ‘Wow… they really didn’t think I was waking up, huh?’

‘What makes you say that?’ asked Remus. Tonks shut her eyes, gesturing to her still bruised face.

‘All this. You don’t waste time healing someone who’s never going to wake up to feel pain again, do you?’ she asked in a gravelly voice. Remus sighed and kept a hold of her hand.

‘I’ve never seen anybody withstand so many measures that were supposed to wake them and live to tell the tale,’ Remus remarked, and Tonks gave a little self-indulgent pout.

‘I’m built tough,’ she quipped, ‘ – but honestly, it’s probably something to do with the metamorphmagus deal.’ Remus raised an eyebrow in response.

‘How so?’

‘Well,’ Tonks began, ‘from what I’ve read on us, we’ve got pretty weird ways of healing ourselves. Some people have said that our internal organs kind of… I don’t know, transform into something that can withstand the damage we’ve taken? And then when we’re healed enough, we shift back. But I don’t know – let’s face it, there’s not enough of us to really do the research,’ she remarked. Remus seemed almost enraptured as Tonks casually rattled off the information. It was easy to forget how clever Tonks was, not least of all thanks to her clumsiness. She was a rare combination of street-and-book smart, and it was almost effortless the way she integrated her intelligence into her everyday life. Anyone who gave it a moment’s thought could work out that she had to be incredibly smart – she had been the only person accepted into the Auror program in years.

‘Whatever the cause,’ Remus replied, ‘you’re here. You’re awake. That’s the most important thing.’ Tonks squeezed Remus’ hand in agreement. She had her eyes closed and as such did not notice the healer approaching her bed, wand in hand. The healer still looked as astonished as she had when Tonks had woken up, and she looked to Remus with the incredulous expression remaining.

‘I’m just going to perform a few charms to make your wife a little more comfortable, Mister Lupin, so I’ll ask you to pop back into your own bed for a moment.’ The healer’s sentence was almost interrupted by the little snort Tonks gave at Remus being referred to as ‘Mister Lupin,’ but the healer continued and Remus obliged. He gave Tonks’ hand one last squeeze before shifting his chair back and gingerly making his way across the gap back to his own cot.

‘Nice seeing you, _Mister Lupin,_ ’ said Tonks, facetiously. Remus smirked and shook his head as he made his was back into bed, readjusting the covers back over himself and watching as the healer spoke several incantations. He could physically see Tonks loosening up with the healing spells, some of the bruising on her face lightening before his very eyes. He could swear that one or two of the wordless spells he saw the healer perform were cleaning charms, but he wasn’t going to mention that. By the end of her regimen, the healer lifted the back of Tonks’ bed slightly, gently easing her to a sitting position. Tonks winced and groaned a little but was ultimately glad to be sat up, running a hand through her hair and sighing. She looked every bit like someone who had been unconscious for weeks, and the aching and confusion was still evident on her face. However, so was her Auror training, and her façade of being impossibly fine with everything went back up as she looked over to Remus. He wanted to tell her she didn’t need to fake this, that everything had been terrifying and horrific and traumatising. He wanted to tell her that he felt it too, and he wanted them to be able to lean on one another as they came to terms with the magnitude of everything that had happened.

As he was about to open his mouth, a veritable stampede made its way into the room, led by a relieved looking Andromeda holding a wide-eyed baby boy.

‘Teddy, look!’ said Andromeda.

Tonks didn’t have the strength to transform any part of herself there and then, but it was as if her entire being was just emanating a bubblegum pink when she laid eyes on Teddy for the first time since waking up. Her eyes welled up immediately, though her heart-shaped face had broken into an enormous grin. She wordlessly held her arms out, gesturing almost wildly with her hands and beckoning her mother to hand her the baby boy. Andromeda obliged immediately, striding over to place Teddy in his mother’s arms.

There was a moment when the entire room held their breath. Teddy was so young. What if he had forgotten his mother? What if the little boy no longer recognised the woman who birthed him?

Teddy looked up at Tonks, wide eyes blinking for a moment. The room was silent.

And then, Teddy gave the most delightful, gummy smile, and a squeak that almost sounded like a laugh.

The room collectively let out a breath, and Tonks held her son close, dipping her head and curtaining her face with her hair, not letting anyone see the tears she was shedding.

‘Teddy, Mum missed you so much,’ she whispered, giving a little sniffle before realising she could not hide her tears from the audience that had amassed at her bedside. She lifted her head, face streaked with tears, and gave a slightly bashful laugh.

‘Sorry, sorry –’ she insisted, and the collective visitors shook their head. Molly was the first one to sweep in to Tonks’ bedside, unable to hold back any longer. She placed a hand on the young mother’s arm, giving a barely composed smile.

‘No apologies, dear,’ Molly insisted, ‘we’re so glad you’re awake… There are more of us at the Burrow, but we didn’t want to crowd you _too_ much…’ Molly smiled, tears brimming in her eyes. Tonks looked up with eyes which were just as teary. She looked behind Molly to Charlie, who was standing right near his mother with a hand on her shoulder, she saw that he had obviously been crying. He managed to give her a little wink, squeezing Molly’s shoulder. She then looked towards the end of the bed, seeing Ginny standing with Hermione. Both girls looked immensely relieved, as if Tonks had been a family member they had almost lost. She, in turn, felt as if she was a member of an enormous family, with her surrogate mother, brother and little sisters all vastly relieved to see her conscious.

The three Weasleys and Hermione remained crowded around her bed along with Andromeda, and they had left a space so Tonks could still look to her left to see Remus. She did so, reaching up with a free hand to wipe at her eyes, and saw that Remus was not paying any attention to the scene around his wife’s bed. He seemed to be mouthing something to a figure behind the crowd, and Tonks followed his line of sight until she saw a tall, older man standing some ways back from hers and Remus’ beds.

‘Lyall…’ she spoke up, and he turned his head to look from his son to his daughter-in-law. Remus looked from his father to Tonks, who smiled small. ‘You don’t have to stand all the way back there. We’re all family here, hm?’ She glanced down to Teddy, gently petting some of the downy hair on his head. Lyall stammered for a moment before pushing his glasses up further onto his face and taking a few steps forward. He bridged the gap between Remus’ bed and Tonks’, glancing between the two of them and giving a small, uneasy smile to Tonks. He had only met her once, and Remus had never brought any of his previous lovers to meet his father before her. When they had met, she had been tired and was incredibly recently post-partum, so she hadn’t spoken much. He felt as if he barely knew his daughter-in-law, but still felt profoundly relieved that she was awake.

‘Ah… it’s so good to see you awake. We’ve all been so worried about you,’ he said in a slightly mumbled voice. It was one Tonks recognised, because it was one that Lyall had passed down to his son, a slight mutter that only came about when he was feeling somewhat socially uncomfortable. Tonks understood with her father-in-law as she did with her husband, and knew that it wasn’t a marker of being uncomfortable with Tonks herself. It was all very overwhelming for even those who were usually comfortable in high stress situations. From what Tonks knew of the Lupins, they were not ones to cope well under pressure.

‘Thanks, Lyall. It’s good to _be_ awake,’ she remarked, and the elder Lupin seemed slightly more at ease with her saying that. Remus watched on, and Andromeda sat herself in the chair between his bed and her daughter’s. She looked over to him, letting Molly and the rest of Tonks’ visitors chat away merrily to her. It was a welcome distraction from the destruction they had all faced in the wake of the war. Andromeda sat back, looking up at Lyall.

‘You and my Ted would have gotten along swimmingly,’ she said, almost offhandedly. Lyall was startled slightly, but he looked down at Andromeda with a quizzical expression eventually.

‘Oh?’ he asked. Remus had earlier filled his father in on the situation with Andromeda’s husband, his grandson’s namesake. Andromeda nodded.

‘He was always standing around like you are now when it came to gatherings with my loved ones or Nymphadora’s friends. Never quite sure where to place himself,’ said Andromeda, smiling faintly. ‘He was very kind. Quiet, but immensely brave and sharp as anything.’ Lyall smiled a little ebefore giving what seemed to be a slightly inappropriate laugh. Andromeda raised an eyebrow quickly, but Lyall shook his head.

‘Oh, no, I’m not laughing about your husband, I just – I was going to say the same about my Hope, Remus’ mother… but I’m not sure you would have gotten along quite as well with her.’ Lyall gave something which was almost a smirk. Andromeda looked to Remus for some sort of clarification, but she only found the same smirk.

‘I hope you’re not suggesting I’m some kind of misanthrope,’ she replied, and Lyall shook his head even more firmly.

‘No, absolutely not… Hope just tended to be somewhat… _overbearing_ when it came to asking about the wizarding world. She would have _loved_ you, I’m sure. But she also would have talked your ear off with all the questions she had about being a witch,’ Lyall laughed, as did Remus.

‘That much is true, she would have thought the world of you, Andromeda.’ Remus smiled, and Andromeda’s confused expression relaxed into a thinly-veiled flattered one.

‘Oh… well, I’m sure I could have handled that,’ she said, somewhat dismissively. Lyall nodded, adjusting his glasses and leaning against Remus’ bed.

‘I’m certain you could have,’ he said, ‘… I wish she were still here to see this. To meet her daughter-in-law and her grandson.’ Andromeda, Lyall and Remus all glanced over at Tonks, who was currently laughing with Charlie about something or other.

‘I wish the same about Ted meeting his namesake…’ Andromeda murmured, almost as if it was supposed to be a thought as opposed to a comment.

‘Ah, well… I’m sure they’re somewhere fawning over little Teddy together... watching over him,’ Lyall remarked. Remus smiled as Andromeda looked to Lyall, a smile of her own breaking out on her face as she commented.

‘Well, I see where Remus gets his sentimentality from.’


	8. Rise Up

Once she had regained consciousness, Tonks’ recovery process went faster and smoother than anyone could ever have imagined. Despite his being awake for quite a lot longer than his wife, by the time Remus was ready to be discharged from St Mungo’s, Tonks was not far behind at all – a day or two at the most. She was sitting up, walking around slightly gingerly and most importantly for her, not letting her baby boy out of her sight. Her metamorphmagus powers had come back in full force, and she was displaying hers and Teddy’s newest trick as she waited for her father-in-law and the mediwizard to return to discharge Remus.

‘Let’s go… _red!_ ’ Tonks cooed, her hair turning a bright crimson. She was leaning over Teddy, who was laying in front of her on her hospital bed, hair draping around her face and over the baby. He cooed as he looked around the room, and as little spit bubbles formed at the corners of his mouth, his hair turned the same colour as his mother’s. Tonks gasped dramatically, clapping her hands together.

‘Yaaaay, Teddy! Teddy, Teddy, he’s our man, if he can’t do it, no babe can!’ Tonks leant down and tickled Teddy’s stomach, and he cooed even more insistently at his mother’s closeness. Remus smiled wide and sat down in the chair beside Tonks’ bed, scooting right up beside it and leaning in to place a finger in Teddy’s grasp. He held it tight without even blinking, and Tonks turned her head to look at Remus.

‘You excited to go home?’ she asked, wincing only slightly as Teddy’s little foot kicked her. She leant back, exhaling delicately, but nonetheless fixing Remus’ hair as she went past. He gave a content smile and sighed, looking at Teddy before looking back to Tonks.

‘I might be if you were coming with me,’ said Remus wistfully, before adding, ‘and that’s not _just_ because we’re staying with your mother.’ Tonks smirked and gave a little laugh, reaching up to cup and squeeze Remus’ chin.

‘Ahh, I do not envy you,’ she smiled, ‘and besides, I already did my time with Andromeda. You have to pay your penance, Remus.’ Tonks could have sworn that her husband rolled his eyes, and she leant over to gently nudge him in the arm before leaning down to scoop Teddy up into her arms.

‘You’re gonna have _such_ a good time with Dad and Grandma, aren’t you, Teddy? And then your Mum’s gonna be home really, really soon!’ Tonks almost cooed, and Remus dropped his air of being unimpressed to smile small.

‘I can bring him in to visit, Dora,’ he quipped, and Tonks held her son close before sighing small, clicking her tongue.

‘Poor thing’s been in here long enough waiting for me to wake up, Remus,’ she sighed, ‘he should be somewhere with his toys, and his bed, and some _peace and quiet,_ ’ Tonks almost groaned as she looked around at all of the families who were there, either taking their patients home or visiting. ‘No, it’s okay. He should stay at Mum’s, that’s more incentive for me to come home anyway.’ Tonks rubbed Teddy’s back, catching Remus’ slight frown.

‘Your mother and I aren’t enough incentive?’ he asked, an edge of jest to his tone. Tonks glanced her husband up and down.

‘Well, I’m a grown woman, so some space from my mother is honestly more incentive. And _you,_ ’ she paused for an unnecessarily long time, so long that she could see Lyall and Andromeda approaching them once more. She leant towards Remus and spoke in little more of a whisper.

‘Let’s just say the incentive _you_ provide is going to have to involve having the house to ourselves and the strongest Imperturbable Charm you can cast.’

‘ _Remus –‘_

‘ _What?_ ’

Remus jolted up from his seat as his father spoke, eyes wide and red tinting almost his entire face. Tonks gave a little snort of laughter as she turned to her mother, handing over Teddy. Lyall, slightly confused at his son’s abrupt reply, just pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose before going over to place a few healing tinctures in Remus’ bag.

‘He’s just been fed, so he should hopefully get to sleep on the way home,’ said Tonks, and Andromeda nodded, hastily taking her grandson in her arms.

‘Yes, yes – well, we must hurry, you have a visitor waiting.’ Andromeda looked up just as a similarly dressed witch and wizard walked through the doors, clearing out the visitors. Tonks’ eyebrows furrowed.

‘Wait… Savage? Proudfoot? What –‘ Tonks looked to her mother, who looked at Remus, who looked back at Tonks. The two new arrivals came to stand just short of the end of Tonks’ bed once they had cleared out all the visitors.

‘Tonks.’ Savage nodded his head towards her, and Proudfoot looked to Lyall and Remus.

‘We’re going to need you to head on out – sorry, protocol,’ she said, and Remus looked to Tonks again. He recognised Proudfoot and Savage as Tonks’ co-workers – they were aurors.

‘Oh, c’mon. What’re they going to do, Proudfoot? My mum’s not exactly going to hex the Minister, is she?’ Tonks asked, and Proudfoot gave a little smirk as Andromeda shot her daughter a glance. She knew that Tonks was an auror too, but seeing her daughter talk back to one was still jarring. Still, she leant down to kiss Tonks’ head before gesturing to Lyall and Remus. Lyall picked up Remus’ bag, and Remus reached over to squeeze Tonks’ hand.

‘I’ll see you soon. Rest up.’ Remus lingered by Tonks’ bedside for a few moments, and she picked up his hand to kiss his knuckles before letting go. She looked back to Athena Proudfoot, an imposing middle-aged auror who, despite her stature was smiling at the display.

‘Of course your mum’s not a risk, love, but you know she might. Kingsley’ll relax the restrictions once the Wizengamot sits again,’ said Proudfoot. Tonks’ eyes widened.

‘Kingsley’s minister permanently, then?’ she asked, and it was Aiden Savage that replied with a nod as he folded his arms.

‘Too right. Good to have an Auror back in the top job, if y’ask me – he knows what it’s like out in the thick of it,’ Savage stated emphatically. Tonks nodded somewhat absentmindedly – Savage was slightly older than Proudfoot and _much_ older than Tonks, and his opinions generally reflected that. Still, she couldn’t begrudge him for wanting someone familiar as Minister in these tough times, but she knew plenty of Aurors who were not at all fit for ministership. Proudfoot had pulled up a chair to sit down, and it was then that her robes shifted slightly. Tonks realised, as she looked over, that Proudfoot’s leg was metallic. She dipped her eyebrows.

‘Bloody hell,’ she murmured, but Proudfoot just smiled and shook her head.

‘Never liked that leg anyway,’ she remarked. Tonks gave a little forlorn smile, but Proudfoot readjusted her robes to cover the prosthetic.

‘Can’t believe this is our first time seein’ the little one, Tonks,’ Savage cut in, and Tonks rolled her eyes.

‘Sorry, Savage, been a little busy with the war and the whole ‘being unconscious’ thing,’ she replied, and Savage rolled his eyes and smirked.

‘Settle, petal. Only jokin’ with you,’ Savage replied.

‘He’s adorable, love,’ Proudfoot interjected. Tonks positively beamed.

‘Yeah, he’s pretty good,’ she laughed small, before glancing up as a figure cut an important frame across the end of her bed. He looked shocked, but immensely relieved, and Tonks noted that she had never seen the man look less composed. Despite this, he still looked more composed than most people could ever hope to.

‘About time you came to visit your lowly subjects, _Minister._ ’ Tonks smirked. Kingsley strode over to the side of Tonks’ bed, past Proudfoot and Savage, and for a moment just stood there. He reached up to grasp Tonks’ shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

‘I am… _very_ glad to see you, Tonks.’

Tonks gave a smile, reaching up to give Kingsley’s hand a brief squeeze.

‘Glad to see you too, Kingsley. Or – _Minister,_ which I guess I have to call you seriously, now. Not just as a laugh,’ she added. Kingsley shook his head as he pulled up a chair.

‘No member of the Order will ever have to refer to me as Minister,’ Kingsley said. ‘Family do not refer to one another so coldly.’ Tonks gave a wide smile and rolled her eyes.

‘Oh, man, I forgot everyone got so _sappy_ after wartime,’ she remarked, though the way she looked down at her lap and pushed some hair behind her ear told Kingsley that she felt the same way. The Order really had become family, and took every loss as such.

‘And to that effect, I apologise we had to usher out your visitors so quickly. I would have had no issue with Remus being here, nor your mother or father-in-law, but after war we have to adhere to protocol. It’s for the sake of order, but also to prevent certain… detractors from picking up on any indiscretions.’ Kingsley sat back, and Tonks shook her head.

‘I get it. I could see the headlines now,’ Tonks’ face pinched up slightly, and she put on a nasally whine of a voice that sounded not unlike a particular Queen of the Quills, ‘ _The newest Minister for Magic is already cutting corners and disrespecting the office he has assumed!’_ Tonks smirked as her face returned to regular, and even Kingsley cracked a smile.

‘Good to see they didn’t take your sense of humour,’ Proudfoot chimed in, and Kingsley agreed.

‘The world needs it more than ever in the aftermath of the war,’ Kingsley began, before pausing, ‘… and that… transitions quite neatly into the other reason I’m here, actually.’ Tonks paused, eyebrows dipping. What, was Kingsley appointing a Ministry Jester and needed Tonks’ self-proclaimed impeccable sense of humour?

‘Well, that sounds ominous.’ Tonks cleared her throat and tried not to look as panicked as she actually was. Kingsley folded his hands together, and looked to Savage, who drew the curtains around Tonks’ bed. Proudfoot backed this action up with an Imperturbable Charm on the curtain, effectively silencing their little cubicle to the outside world.

‘ _Okay,_ that’s even _more_ ominous, just for the record,’ Tonks remarked, eyes widening.

‘Don’t be alarmed, Tonks. This is just to keep this conversation private,’ Kingsley remarked.

‘No, I – I know what the charm does, I just – what do you need to tell me? What’s – what’s going on, Kingsley?’ she asked. Kingsley seemed to take a moment to steel himself. This only panicked Tonks more, and she sat up straight, her eyebrows knitted together. Kingsley let out a little breath.

‘Now, you can reject this proposal, I need to emphasise this before I start,’ Kingsley said. Tonks only looked more confused, but slightly less afraid.

‘Well, I, uh… I’m already married, sorry to burst _that_ bubble –‘ Tonks attempted to joke, but Kingsley was firmly in his ministerial role. She sighed and ended up nodding. ‘I understand.’

‘Thank you,’ he replied, before continuing. ‘I was officially sworn in as Minister two days ago. Usually, I would have longer to consider who would fill Ministry positions and indeed, if they needed to be filled. However, considering the unusual wartime circumstances and the coup of the Ministry by the Death Eaters, there are a number of positions that I need to fill immediately.’

Tonks froze in her spot. Her mind started racing, immediately going through all of the possible positions that needed filling that she thought she could do. It had to be something small, something that she could do that was probably mind-numbingly boring. God, she hoped she wouldn’t have to be head of the Apparition Test Centre, dealing with hormonal 17-year-olds wanting to apparate into their boyfriend or girlfriend’s bedrooms for some fooling around over the summer. As much as she respected her father-in-law, she’d rather deal with the wrong end of a Blast-Ended Skrewt than work with the Spirit Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Beings office. She’d never been very good at Care of Magical Creatures, anyway.

‘Tonks, as you know, Corban Yaxley was appointed by Voldemort to the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He was found dead after the Battle of Hogwarts, so I have asked Gawain Robards to step up in his place. However, this leaves his post empty.’

Tonks paused. She blinked. She then looked at Savage before looking to Proudfoot. She then looked back at Kingsley, giving a small, disbelieving laugh.

‘You – you’re not saying –‘

‘I am planning on offering anyone who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts the opportunity to become an Auror, Tonks. You are by far our most esteemed Auror of the last decade or more, and you were trained under the finest Auror our department has ever seen. You’re young, you’re just and you’re immensely talented.’

‘And we all voted,’ crowed Savage.

‘Huh?’ asked Tonks.

‘We voted, love,’ Proudfoot reiterated, ‘Oldies like me or Savage aren’t going to be in touch with the kids who are going to come through Kingsley’s proposed Auror program. We can barely remember our training.’ Tonks swallowed hard, scooting herself backwards anxiously on the bed.

‘I am not overstating myself when I say this,’ Kingsley said, his tone composed, ‘ _you_ are the future of the Auror Office, Tonks. There is nobody else that I, or any of your colleagues, would trust to train up the new generation of Aurors. Nor anyone else we would trust to reverse the corruption that has plagued that arm of the Ministry.’

‘… You… you said I could say no,’ Tonks said, shakily. Kingsley nodded slowly.

‘Of course. And I stand by that. But I also stand by the fact that you are the right witch for this job.’ Kingsley’s voice was still even and unruffled. Tonks swallowed hard.

It was true that this was a huge ask. Tonks felt underqualified, out of her depth and frankly, scared as all hell. However, it was also true that Tonks was a new mother, which meant two things – she needed money to look after a child, and she didn’t particularly want to be doing a job which was as dangerous as being an active Auror.

‘When… when would I have to start?’ she asked, and Kingsley sat back.

‘Well… I would need to announce your appointment as soon as possible. However, the Auror intake and the beginning of the training program wouldn’t be until Hogwarts classes resume, which will hopefully still be at the beginning of September. You do, of course, have other responsibilities to assume other than Auror training, but that work will be separated between myself, Robards and Proudfoot until you are ready to take on a greater workload.’ Kingsley reeled off all of the information, which Tonks tried to take in.

‘Okay… okay, I, um… I need to talk this over with Remus, uh, I…’ Tonks swallowed hard, staring at her lap. She didn’t need to talk it over with Remus, because she knew what he would say. He would say that she should do what felt right to her. And if she _really_ pushed him to make a decision, then it would be remiss of him to tell her to reject a Ministry salary, at the very least.

‘Yes, I was just going to say… if I know Remus, and I do know Remus –‘ Kingsley stood up and pulled back the curtain around the bed. Savage jolted back to attention and followed Kingsley out of the room. Tonks paused, and Proudfoot leaned her head to the side before sitting back and smirking.

‘He’s not Minister for nothing,’ she remarked, and Kingsley came walking back with Remus wandering beside him, saying something about how he thought he’d left his cardigan behind and he that he thought it might be cold outside, so he didn’t want to leave without it.

‘Wait, what –‘ Tonks asked, and Remus looked much like a student just sprung by a professor.

‘I –‘ Remus looked from Tonks to Kingsley before sighing. ‘I can’t just _leave_ when the Minister for Magic comes to visit my wife.’

‘I didn’t want to ask you to, Remus,’ Kingsley replied, and Remus nodded.

‘Nevertheless,’ Remus added, immediately noticing how distressed Tonks looked and heading back over to her side, placing an arm around her shoulders. ‘What’s going on? Is everyone alright?’ Tonks didn’t reply at first, but once Kingsley pulled the curtain across again, she looked up at Remus.

‘… Kingsley wants me to be Head Auror,’ she said.

‘And so do all the Aurors,’ Proudfoot chimed in. Remus looked up at the Auror who was still sitting down, then to the new Minister, before finally looking back to Tonks herself.

‘… Do _you_ want to be Head Auror?’ he asked, quietly, and in his eyes Tonks could already see everything she knew he was thinking. It was up to her.

‘I…’ she trailed off, looking around the room at all of the faces, eyes all trained on her. She closed her eyes for a second, thinking about the responsibility, the _pressure…_

But there was also the opportunity for change. The ability to bring the traits of her Hogwarts house, the skills given to her by her late mentor and the qualities she always strove for right to the top.

With a sharp breath in, and a shaky hand reaching out to grasp her husband’s, she opened her eyes and looked at Kingsley.

‘… _I’m in._ ’


	9. When it Rains

After a day which was overwhelming in many respects – the news of Tonks receiving a job offer from the Minister himself seemed to buoy the Weasley family to higher spirits than Remus had seen them in since the battle, and that made for a bustling family dinner, which made for a fussy and squawking baby Teddy – Remus found himself glad to make it over the threshold of his mother-in-law’s house still standing. Molly had almost insisted that he and Andromeda stayed with the Weasleys, and Remus was too busy dealing with a now screaming Teddy to protest. Remus saw Andromeda having a quiet word with Molly, and after she gave the new father a sympathetic look she let them go on their way.

‘Well, it’s been a long day,’ Andromeda said, lighting the lamps along the stairway in her home with a wave of her hand, ‘are you going to be alright with Teddy?’ She brought her hand up to gently stroke Teddy’s hair, and though he’d been fussing in his father’s arms he seemed to calm at his grandmother’s touch. Remus nodded nonetheless.

‘Yes, of course,’ he replied, and though he swore he saw Teddy screw up his little nose, he ignored it. Andromeda just nodded as she looked down the hallway, getting a slightly glassy look in her eyes as she looked around the foyer. Remus knew better than to question it – he knew why she was looking. It was the same thing his father did after his mother died.

‘Okay…’ Andromeda murmured, before composing herself with a blink – it was as if nothing had happened as she leant in to kiss Teddy’s forehead.

‘Goodnight, little one. Goodnight, Remus,’ she gave a small, slightly pinched smile before cutting a figure up the stairs and out of sight. Remus gave a little sigh as he looked down at Teddy, who, despite it being well into the evening, looked more awake than his father had ever seen him. Nonetheless, Remus thought it wise to at least _try_ to settle him down to sleep. He walked up the stairs and wordlessly snuffed out the lamps on the wall as he went.

He made his way into his wife’s childhood room, which had slowly changed from the first time he’d seen it to now. It used to be just as Tonks had left it when she moved into a flat of her own, plastered with pictures of her Hogwarts friends and every Weird Sisters poster in existence. Now, some of those posters had disappeared, and though many of the photos of her with friends remained, they had been accompanied by pictures of Remus and Teddy, of Moody and the Order, and of Tonks with her late father.

There also now sat a small bassinet by the window, adjacent to a rocking chair that Ted had refinished and reupholstered after learning that his daughter was expecting. Even the bassinet had been Teddy’s mother’s when she was a baby. He did not seem to take a shine to sleeping in it, and Andromeda had told Remus that the same could have been said for Tonks herself. Teddy was not a wonderful sleeper, and many nights of his short life had already been spent with him, rocking in the  chair that his Granddad fixed up, just for him.

It turned out that the night in question was no different, and Remus was sitting with Teddy in his arms. The chair had been enchanted to rock at a pace that the sitter only need imagine. Remus could feel his head lulling to the side, and he felt much closer to sleep than his son looked. As he lifted his head forcefully, he tried to focus out into the uncharacteristically wet May night – the rain was heavy, hitting the window in a rhythm which could easily have lulled Remus to sleep but seemed to only interest his son.

Remus managed to find something to focus on – there was a cat in the distance, one who looked almost black, walking along a fence adjacent to Andromeda’s house. Remus blinked for what seemed like a split second, and the cat was standing on the awning below the window right beside him. His eyes widened and he reached up with a free hand to wipe at them in near disbelief.

So when the cat craned its head and the window opened, he was _completely_ shocked.

Remus’ first instinct was to stand up and step back, holding Teddy close. Before he could say anything, the cat leapt through the window which shut seamlessly behind it. Remus chalked it up to exhaustion, but it took him until the carpet behind it and the cat itself seemed to magically dry to reveal a grey tabby coat that he realised what had happened.

‘Professor, you could have just knocked.’

‘Nobody wants to hear a door knock at night-time this close to the end of a war, Remus,’ said McGonagall, who had wordlessly transformed out of her Animagus form.

‘You could have Apparated,’ came Remus’ reply as he sat back down on the chair, which eased forward to allow him to sit before rocking once more.

‘I didn’t want to startle you.’

‘Ah, yes. Nothing is less startling than a literal cat burglar,’ Remus replied, managing a smile. McGonagall managed the same, and with a wave of her hand came a chair from the other side of the room. She sat down and her smile softened further at catching sight of Teddy’s face.

‘I apologise for the entrance. And for the hour I’m calling,’ McGonagall said, clasping her hands, ‘how is the wee one?’

‘Awake. Very, _very_ awake, _’_ Remus muttered, to which McGonagall couldn’t help but smirk.

‘If you don’t mind?’ she asked, holding her arms out towards Teddy. Remus obliged without protest, handing Teddy over. He seemed to almost crumple comfortably in McGonagall’s arms, settling into the green velvet of her robes. Remus was gobsmacked, and was about to ask McGonagall _how_ when she replied before he could speak once more.

‘Don’t ask me, Remus,’ she said, gently patting Teddy’s bottom, ‘some think it’s the robes, others say it’s my voice. Or if I heed what a first-year said to me once, it may be because I ‘smell of grandma,’ so –‘ McGonagall gave another smile as she looked down at the infant, whose eyelids continued to droop by the second. Remus gave a little laugh, sitting forward and rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

‘Eleven-year-olds are quite the flatterers, aren’t they?’ Remus asked, and McGonagall nodded slowly in response.

‘Of course. I think they keep us young,’ she said as she looked up, a now sleeping Teddy settled happily in her arms. Remus smiled small, sitting back in the chair which lulled back gently under his weight. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, and he felt like he would have fallen asleep were it not for his visitor.

‘As much as I appreciate your putting Teddy to sleep,’ he said, reaching up to his mouth to stifle a yawn, ‘what brings you here at this hour, Professor?’

‘Ah, well…’ McGonagall hesitated for a moment as she stood, walking over to the bassinet and easing Teddy down into it. He gave a little, contented snore as he left her arms. She then looked over to Remus, and for a moment thought he was sleeping just like his son, but he opened one eye as Teddy sounded out.

‘ _I don’t snore,_ ’ he muttered, prompting a cocked eyebrow from his former teacher. Remus seemed to realise again that he was not alone, and he blinked both of his eyes open to look right at McGonagall. ‘Oh. I – Dora just – never mind. Sorry, what were you saying?’ McGonagall just gave a small smile and clasped her hands.

‘I shan’t take too much of your time, Remus, you should rest.’ McGonagall nonetheless went to sit back down, shaking her head slightly as she did so. ‘I always thought Albus was theatrical in his methods because of his personality, not as his position. But here I am, so…’ Remus sat up a little at that, realising McGonagall’s implication almost immediately.

‘Of course… you’ll be permanent Headmistress now that everything is over, won’t you?’ he asked, and McGonagall nodded and continued.

‘And in the esteemed tradition of Albus before me, I am tasked with filling the vacant positions left at Hogwarts.’ McGonagall folded her hands in her lap, giving pause to allow Remus to understand what she was saying. His exhaustion did him no favours, but it only took a moment longer for him to realise her insinuation, and to realise he had been in this situation before.

It was the summer almost five years ago when Remus had been, as he always did, isolating himself in his home on the outskirts of Yorkshire. It was as remote as he could afford on a meagre and sporadic income which came from temporary bursts of work. His house was run-down despite him spending most of his time in it. The home had a cellar, which was his reason for choosing it to live in. When the full moon approached, Remus would lock the house up and retreat down there, spending almost a full day casting protective enchantments.

He had just emerged that morning from a particularly gruelling transformation and had managed to drag himself over to a threadbare armchair to slump down, casting only one rudimentary healing spell to stop his wounds from actively bleeding before falling asleep. He awoke to the sound of someone knocking on his front door, but he did not get up to answer. When the deadbolted door seemed to open of its own accord, Remus’ eyes widened immediately, and he sat upright. Albus Dumbledore strode into the house as if he was gliding across its splintered floors. He turned his head and laid eyes on Remus, who seemed absolutely incredulous at the visitor’s presence.

‘An arduous transformation this cycle, Remus? My sincerest apologies for barging in, I thought I’d left enough time…’ Dumbledore reached into a pouch at his side and pulled out a glass pot with a mixture that Remus recognised – silver and dittany. These were things that Remus could rarely afford, let alone get his hands on. He had often been made to walk around for days, if not weeks, with an open wound until he could procure enough to seal his gashes. Remus blinked and nodded, still in stunned silence. Dumbledore pulled a dining chair over with a wave of his hand, sitting down in front of the young wizard, who he noticed was sitting at a strange angle. The reason became immediately evident as Remus moved his hand to reveal blood seeping through his shirt at his waist.

‘Allow me, Remus,’ Dumbledore said, and Remus pulled his shirt up, revealing a large, bite-shaped wound. Dumbledore opened the pot and applied a liberal amount of the powder, which made Remus wince as the sting radiated out from his side. He was about to open his mouth to insist that Dumbledore need not use so much of the powder when he saw it regenerating in the glass jar.

‘Some old friends have immeasurably vast stores of ingredients. They’re happy to provide an unnamed Hogwarts professor with a constant supply of these,’ mused Dumbledore as he finished healing Remus’ wound. At first, Remus presumed that Dumbledore was talking about himself, but when he was handed the now-refilled pot, he was confused enough to speak.

‘I’m sorry, Professor, if you’ve been trusted with these ingredients, then…’

‘Not me, Remus. You.’

Remus sat up a little straighter at that, pulling his bloodied shirt down over his healed wound. He blinked once, twice, _three times –_ for a moment, he thought that Dumbledore may finally have lost his gobstones.

‘Professor… what – I can’t – I don’t –‘ Dumbledore gave a hearty chuckle at Remus’ attempts to reject his offer.

‘I thought you might react this way, Remus,’ Dumbledore mentioned, ‘but considering the way our Defence Against the Dark Arts curriculum has been trending over the last few years, I fear it may go entirely by the wayside if I cannot find someone who is skilled and compassionate like yourself.’

‘Defence Against the Dark Arts? Professor, I… I don’t know the first thing about teaching that,’ Remus stammered back, though there was still a hesitant excitement in his voice behind his vehement denial.

‘Remus, I distinctly remember your graduation from N.E.W.T-level Defence Against the Dark Arts at the top of your class. Your final piece on Dementor defences was impeccable, and you were able to cast your own Patronus well before the year’s end.’ Dumbledore looked at Remus, and he placed his hands on his knees, leaning forward and taking a sharp breath in.

‘Nobody is going to want someone like me teaching their children, Professor,’ he managed, glancing up at Dumbledore through the hair falling across his face.

‘Nobody shall know, Remus. You have, I expect, heard of the Wolfsbane Potion?’ Dumbledore asked. Remus couldn’t help but lift his head abruptly – after the ordeal that had been his last transformation, it was only natural to desire something that would greatly ease that pain.

‘Of course, Professor – but it’s expensive, and near-impossible to brew –‘

‘Not with Hogwarts’ potion stores. Or with the expertise of Severus Snape,’ said Dumbledore. Remus blinked and his eyes widened. He knew that Professor Slughorn had retired in the maelstrom that was the end of 1981, but he didn’t know that Severus had replaced him. They had their differences – _massive_ differences – but one thing that was undeniable was his skill in potion-making.

‘You think you can convince Severus to brew Wolfsbane Potion for _me,_ Professor? He hated S –‘ Remus thought he could get it out, get it out that Severus had hated Sirius and James with the entirety of his being, but he couldn’t. ‘He hated my friends, and me by extension…’

‘I trust Severus, Remus. I wouldn’t ask you to come if I didn’t, nor would I promise you Wolfsbane Potion if I could not allow you to partake it. I also would not ask you to take up the post of Professor if I did not think you were capable, if I was not willing to pay you a comfortable wage and if I could not guarantee your safety,’ Dumbledore continued. ‘But since none of those things are true – I am asking you, Remus.’

Remus looked around his home, bare apart from a few essentials and a number of cobwebs. He looked down at himself, a man in a constant state of disarray and injury. He looked back up at Dumbledore, and with a nod, his life was changed once more by the greatest wizard of his time.

Years had passed since that moment. Dumbledore had died, as had so many of Remus’ friends, colleagues, contemporaries and even his students. There was a hole left at Hogwarts, one which needed to be filled.

‘Remus? Remus,’ McGonagall called, and Remus snapped out of the small daydream he had been momentarily trapped in.

‘Sorry, Professor, I’m just – I was thinking about when Professor Dumbledore ambushed me a little like this,’ he remarked, and McGonagall pursed her lips.

‘Well, while I resent the implication, Remus, that I am _ambushing_ you… I’ve come to ask for something more than Albus asked.’ McGonagall’s voice was even, but Remus seemed thrown off by that.

‘I’m sorry?’ he asked.

‘Well, as I gather you’ve realised, I am here to offer you the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor once more,’ McGonagall clarified, ‘seeing as Voldemort has been defeated, the curse on the position has lifted. And you have been the best-received Defence Against the Dark Arts professor that Hogwarts has had in the whole time the curse was in effect. You are the clear choice for the role,’ McGonagall concluded, not even attempting to hide the pride that crept into her voice. Remus couldn’t help but give a small smile of pride as well, but clasped his hands.

‘Professor, thank you… I’m not sure if you’ve heard, though – Dora has just accepted the role of Head Auror, so Teddy…’ Remus looked over at his still-snoozing son, and McGonagall nodded.

‘I did hear – Pomona is bursting to deliver her congratulations. And we would, of course, make accommodations for the wee one, Remus.’ McGonagall’s tone was getting slightly more insistent, and it wasn’t something that Remus missed. He nodded slowly.

‘I’d have to speak to Dora, but…’ He stopped suddenly, looking up at McGonagall again. ‘What did you mean when you said you were asking for more than Professor Dumbledore asked me?’ McGonagall glanced from Teddy to Remus, nodding.

‘Oh, of course! Well, the position of Headmistress is a rather demanding one, meaning that I will need to relinquish my other positions in order to properly do the job. I am currently on the hunt for a new Transfiguration professor, and Professor Flitwick has graciously accepted the added position of Deputy Headmaster.’

Remus blinked.

He blinked again.

‘Professor, are… are you asking me to be the Gryffindor Head of House?’ he asked. McGonagall stood up and hid the ghost of a smile.

‘Well, Remus, you’d look something of a fool if I wasn’t,’ she remarked, looking over at Teddy once more before turning to Remus. ‘I’ll expect a formal acceptance or denial within the week, yes?’ Remus nodded quickly.

‘Of course, Professor. Thank you, I’m – I’m honoured, really, I –‘

‘Remus, I’ve known you for too long for this kind of sentiment… but you’re very welcome.’ McGonagall briefly grasped Remus’ arm with a smile before standing back. ‘Get some rest. Both of you,’ she said as she looked over at Teddy once more before finally apparating out of the room with the tiniest _pop_.

Remus sighed and went to sit over on the bed now, planting his hands either side of him as he took stock of everything. Things were really starting to go back to normal now – Hogwarts would resume classes on time with Remus as professor and Gryffindor Head, Dora would head up the Auror Office, and they would find a new normal in the midst of a war’s aftermath.

Just as Remus reached back to pull the covers back, about to attempt sleep, he heard another little snore from Teddy. He craned his head up to see Teddy opening his eyes and blinking slowly.

He then let out an almighty scream.

Remus lugged himself out of bed after only a moment, heading over to tend to Teddy.

Things really _were_ going back to normal.


	10. Mother, Dearest

‘Mum, come on – I’m fine, _seriously,_ ’ Tonks insisted, but Andromeda didn’t move her hand from the small of her daughter’s back as she helped her over the threshold of her home.

‘Darling, if I let you go now, you’ll be out running around before sundown. Let us _help_ you,’ Andromeda insisted, glancing back at Remus who had Tonks’ bag of belongings in one hand and Teddy in a carrier in the other.

‘I _won’t,_ Mum, I’m just going to go up and shower –‘

‘I think you should have a bath, dear, it’s safer that way –‘

‘ _\- a bath, then –_ and then I’m going to set myself up in bed. That’s _all._ ” Tonks almost glared at her mother, who seemed unperturbed.

‘I know you, Nymphadora,’ Andromeda replied, much to Tonks’ chagrin. ‘You won’t stay in bed for long. Not if we don’t make you.’ She gave another quick look back to Remus, who looked as if he desperately wanted to stay firmly out of this. Still, he looked to Tonks, and despite his better judgement, spoke up.

‘… They did say you needed to rest, Dora.’

With a huff, Tonks wordlessly stepped forward from her mother, and with a louder-than-usual _crack,_ apparated up the stairs. Once she was up there, she stumbled a little, staggering forward to grab the railing just before nearly tripping down the stairs. Andromeda gasped, as did Remus, though the former went to rush up the stairs.

‘ _Nymphadora,_ this is why –‘

‘Mum, _please!_ I’m okay!’ Tonks insisted, raising her voice.

‘You almost _weren’t,_ so _please,_ just let me _help you!_ ’

A piercing cry rang through the room, and Remus placed both Tonks’ bag and the carrier on the floor to pick up the screaming Teddy. He looked up at the mother and daughter who were both staring silently at the baby.

‘I… I’ll go and feed him,’ Remus murmured, heading for the kitchen and leaving the Tonkses both standing on the stairs. Andromeda turned back to Tonks, who was still standing shakily at the top of the stairs.

‘… Nymphadora…’

‘I don’t _like_ being like this, Mum, come on,’ Tonks swallowed hard, her legs starting to shake more now. Andromeda took a few steps up to reach her daughter, putting a hand around her waist. Tonks didn’t stop her.

‘I know, sweetheart,’ Andromeda murmured.

‘I… I _hate_ not just being able to… to go back to _normal._ How am I supposed to do _anything_ like this?’ she asked. Andromeda sighed, leading Tonks to the bathroom and opening the door.

‘Unfortunately, dear… you have to do it in your least favourite way,’ Andromeda mused, shutting the lid of the toilet and gesturing for Tonks to sit down as she went over to draw a bath, ‘ _slowly._ ’ Tonks sighed, running a hand through her hair.

‘ _Slowly_ is not the word of choice in the wizarding world, Mum, and you know it.’ Tonks swallowed hard. ‘God, I’m supposed to be Head Auror in a couple of months – how _mental_ must I have been to say yes? I can’t do that!’

‘Yes, you can,’ Andromeda replied, calmly. ‘And you know that Kingsley wouldn’t have asked you to take up the role if _he_ didn’t think you could do it either.’

‘It just… that’s a job that _real adults do._ ’ Tonks whined, and Andromeda laughed.

‘Darling, you’re a wife and mother. Those are generally _real adult_ things too,’ she replied. Tonks scoffed.

‘ _You_ weren’t at Hogwarts for the spate of teenage pregnancies in our seventh year. Don’t think I’ll ever recover from Sprout’s chat about,’ Tonks’ hair turned immediately grey as she spoke in the voice of her former Head of House, ‘ _personal protective spells._ ’ Pink leaked straight back into her hair as she stopped talking, and Andromeda even gave a small laugh.

‘I distinctly remember that not really being an issue for you in your seventh year,’ Andromeda replied, and Tonks smirked.

‘Well, _no,_ but it was still a right laugh.’ Tonks gave a small smile as she remembered her own relationship status that year being a relatively stable one with her girlfriend of nearly two years, a Ravenclaw in the same year as her. They only split up after graduation, once Tonks got into the Auror training program and her girlfriend travelled to work as an Arithmancer with MACUSA in America.

‘Alright, dear, do you need a hand with the bath, or should you be okay?’ Andromeda asked. Tonks, expectedly, rolled her eyes as she stood.

‘I’ll be fine, Mum,’ she replied, going to remove the old jumper of Remus’ that she’d commandeered from him. However, when she went to lift her arms above her head, she winched, dropping them entirely and grasping at both of her shoulders. ‘S – s – _sugar,_ ’ she hissed, attempting not to swear in front of her mother.

‘… Would you like some help, dear?’ Andromeda asked. At that moment, there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door. ‘Come in, Remus.’ He poked his head in, and through the crack of the door, Tonks could see Teddy sleeping contentedly in his father’s arms.

‘I just wanted to check that everything was okay…’ he remarked quietly. Tonks glanced at Remus, then looked back to her mother.

‘Yeah, I would like some help… Mum, did you want to put Teddy down for a nap?’ Tonks asked, and Andromeda took a second to glance between her daughter and son-in-law before giving the barest hint of a smile.

‘Of course, darling.’ Andromeda walked over to Remus, easing Teddy up and out of his father’s arms. ‘Come on, sweet boy. Let’s go and have a nap.’ As she opened the door wider by nudging it with her foot, she looked back at Tonks. ‘Do remember what Professor Sprout taught you, won’t you, dear?’ Andromeda gave a wider smile, and though she turned slightly red, Tonks laughed.

‘Thanks a lot, Mum,’ she replied, before turning to Remus and gesturing for him to come into the room. ‘Come on. Come and help your sick wife.’

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.

‘Oh, yeah, my body’s just falling apart, but other than that, I’m _so good._ ’ Tonks gave a little smirk, holding her arms out in front of her and looking a lot like a mummy. Remus raised an eyebrow. ‘Can you help undress me? C’mon, get with the program, you’ve done it before.’

‘Well, yes,’ Remus remarked, crouching down gingerly in front of where Tonks was sitting and gently grasping the hem of her jumper, ‘but never very _gently._ I – hang on, is this -?’

‘Nope, it _was_ your jumper, and now it’s mine. Good talk.’ Tonks gave a little grin, and Remus shook his head as he went to ease the jumper off of Tonks carefully. It took a lot of manoeuvring and gentle easing, but eventually they collectively managed to ease Tonks down into the bath. She slink down in the bath, underneath the bubbles, resting her head back as she shut her eyes.

‘ _Ohh,_ don’t tell my mum that she was right, but this bath is… _incredible._ ’ Tonks gave a long, content exhale, and Remus gave a smile as he pulled a small stool over from the corner of the bathroom, sitting at the edge of the bath. He rolled up his sleeves before leaning on the edge of the bath, just quietly watching Tonks. After a moment, she opened on eye to glance at him. ‘Take a picture, it’ll last longer.’

‘I have to take pictures, now, do I?’ he asked, and Tonks gave a little chuckle as she shut her eyes again.

‘No, of course not.’ She gave another long sigh, letting the warm water soothe her aching joints. ‘How’s Teddy been sleeping lately?’ she asked.

‘As good as can be expected with you gone,’ Remus replied, ‘you know how shocking a sleeper he is when one of us isn’t there.’

‘And yet he sleeps _perfectly_ with my mother. Snoring and all. I bet he’s snoring now. What a little brat,’ Tonks joked, laughing. Remus laughed with her, nodding small.

‘He is his mother’s son,’ he retorted, and Tonks opened her eyes and gasped dramatically.

‘Ex _cuse_ me, Remus Lupin? Remus Lupin, the _Marauder_ Remus Lupin, is saying that _our son_ is a brat because of _me,_ the pure, upstanding Hufflepuff Auror?’ she mused. Remus laughed, folding his arms.

‘Pure and upstanding, hm? I think Professor Sprout may have a thing or two to say about that,’ Remus replied.

‘Hey, she had a vendetta against me, I _swear,_ ’ Tonks laughed. Remus nodded slowly.

‘A likely story,’ he remarked with a smile, and Tonks sighed and shook her head as she sat up, leaning forward. ‘Did you want a hand?’ he asked. Tonks nodded slowly, and lulling her head forward, she handed Remus a flannel. He dipped it in the water, grabbing the soap and rubbing it to a lather on the flannel. He then went to rub small, gentle circles into Tonks’ back. He noticed that she had a few little scars on his back that he’d never noticed before, but whether they were new or not, he wasn’t sure. There was one scar that he knew was a new one, though – a scar on the side of her neck where she had obviously been hexed or cursed with an intent to kill. She’d survived, but there were signs on her body that it was against all of the odds. Remus ignored the scars for the moment, as he preferred people to do with his own scars, just continuing to wash Tonks before finally helping to wash her hair. He grabbed the small jug they had been using to bathe Teddy and wet Tonks’ hair with it. Tonks laughed small.

‘Thank Merlin we had a baby before this, really gets your bathing skills up to scratch,’ she remarked, leaning her head into Remus’ hand as he rubbed shampoo into her hair.

‘That’s very true,’ Remus replied, and Tonks smiled as she went to turn her head towards Remus. However, all she managed to do is turn her face into Remus’ soapy hand, getting shampoo in her eye. She winced, reaching up to press a hand to her eye. ‘Dora, are you alright?!’ Remus asked, his voice strained.

‘Yeah, _shit,_ I just – soap, in my – _right_ in my eye, oh, my –‘ Tonks tried to blink it out to no avail, so Remus cleaned off the flannel before reaching up towards her face.

‘Move your hand, I’ll wipe your eye –‘

‘I can’t move my hand, it hurts!’

‘Just for a second, Dora, I promise!’

‘ _Fine,_ alright – there, go! _Ow!_ ’

‘Shh, I’ve got it, it’s fine –‘

‘It’s not working, it still h – _oh,_ wait, no, that’s – that’s totally better.’

Tonks opened both of her eyes and blinked at Remus, only managing to keep a straight face for a second before laughing, shaking her head. Remus laughed too, hanging the flannel back over the side of the bed.

‘You’re hopeless,’ Remus remarked, and Tonks nodded.

‘Mmhm,’ she remarked, leaning against the side of the bath towards Remus, dripping water on his clothes, ‘ but _you_ married me, so you’re _totally_ stuck with me. _’_

‘That is _very_ true,’ he replied, ‘and don’t think I’d want it any other way. Because I wouldn’t.’ Remus smiled wide, and Tonks leaned over the edge of the bath to press her lips against his. Remus leaned forward off the stool, cupping Tonks’ damp face in his hands. Tonks draped an arm over Remus’ shoulder, dripping water all over that half of his shirt. Tonks’ hand travelled from Remus’s shoulder to the front of his shirt, at his top button.

‘There’s room in here, you know,’ she murmured against his lips, and Remus pulled back only a fraction.

‘But your mum –‘

‘Is with Teddy, she’s probably fallen asleep in the chair next to his bassinet. Come on,’ Tonks remarked, working one of Remus’ buttons undone, ‘it’s been _so long._ ’  Remus blinked and swallowed hard, letting his eyes flicker down.

‘… Are you up to it?’ he asked, tentatively. Tonks smirked.

‘I think I can manage.’

With that, Remus kissed Tonks hard, and Tonks continued to work open the buttons of Remus’ shirt until they were all undone. She managed to reach back enough to get Remus’ shirt off with his assistance. He kept his lips pressed against hers, moving in desperate sync with his wife as his hands moved down to unbuckle his belt. Tonks’ soapy hands slid across Remus’ bare chest, and she brought her teeth down to gently nip at Remus’ bottom lip. Tonks’ hands moved to her husband’s trousers, and she gave them a swift tug that sent them falling to the ground with a gentle clatter.

‘Nymphadora, I’ve just brought you some – _oh! Oh!!’_

Three things happened at once. Andromeda, who had just opened to see her daughter and son-in-law entangled, threw the pile of clean clothes through the door and ducked out instantly. Remus fell back away from his wife, falling hard on his backside onto cold tiles with a yelp. Tonks’ eyes widened as she shrieked, sliding down to his herself under the rim of the bath.

‘Is… is she gone?’ Tonks whimpered, her face only just above the water level. Remus didn’t respond. ‘Remus? Remus!’ Tonks sat up, pulling herself back up to sit with a wince. She looked down to see Remus in what looked like immense pain. His face was scrunched up, his eyebrows knitted together. ‘Remus, are you okay?!’

A high-pitched laugh made its way from Remus Lupin’s lips, and Tonks looked completely confused. She watched as Remus laughed and laughed, and eventually it became so contagious that Tonks felt a chuckle of her own leave her throat. The chuckles became laughter, and eventually the pair laughed so hard that tears were forming in their eyes by the time they stopped.

‘I –‘ Remus gave a little guffaw before speaking again, ‘I think I may have blinded your mother, Dora, I have to apologise.’

‘Why didn’t she knock? Oh, Mum…’ Tonks shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed, going to finally condition her hair. Remus managed to stand up, despite his bruised ego and cheeks, and helped her along with the process. After a final rinse, Tonks gingerly stepped out of the bath, and Remus wrapped a towel around her, casing a quick Drying Charm on her hair before handing her the clothes Andromeda had just popped into the bathroom.

‘Thanks for your help, love,’ Tonks remarked, giving a content sigh as she eased into the warm clothes Andromeda had provided. ‘Sorry about my mum.’

‘It’s not a worry,’ Remus replied.

‘It’s a bit of a worry. We really need a place of our own,’ Tonks replied. ‘We’ll start looking once I’ve pulled up a little better.’

‘There’s really no rush, Dora,’ said Remus.

‘Uh, there is if we don’t want to live a sexless existence. Besides,’ Tonks remarked, leaning back against Remus, ‘a _prominent witch_ has said that a good shag is _great_ for healing.’ Remus raised an eyebrow.

‘Who might that be, then?’

‘Oh, y’know. Just the _Head Auror,_ ’ Tonks said, staring into the mirror in front of her. Her mood deflated quickly, and she sighed.

‘What’s wrong?’ Remus asked.

‘I just… mmm.’ Tonks braced herself on the sink in front of them with a shaky sigh. She had been trying to wrap her head around the notion that she would be Head Auror for days now, but she was struggling. To be honest, it _pissed her off._ If she was a wizard, she wouldn’t be fretting like this, she was sure of it. ‘I’m just worried I’m not going to be fit enough to be Head Auror.’

‘Dora, you’ve seen the Head Aurors of years past,’ said Remus. ‘They don’t exactly go around fighting face to face. You did more fighting for the Order than you’ll have to do as Head Auror, I’d imagine.’

‘I just… I feel _weak,_ Remus. And I know how totally _up myself_ it sounds, but I’m…’ Tonks sighed, shaking her head. ‘I’m not used to feeling weak. I barely got through being pregnant, let alone this…’

‘Dora… I can’t make you feel any less weak, but… I know how you feel. How it feels to not be in control of the way your body reacts to something…’ Remus swallowed hard, and Tonks’ eyes widened. She turned around to face Remus.

‘Oh, no, Remus, I didn’t – _shit,_ I didn’t mean –‘

‘I know, shh,’ Remus gently cupped Tonks’ jaw, leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead. ‘I’m just saying… I know how hard it is. But I also know how strong you are.’ Tonks tilted her head up and smiled small.

‘… Thanks, Remus.’ She leant forwards, wrapping her arms around her husband and giving him a gentle squeeze.

‘Anytime, Dora,’ he replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. At that moment, they both heard a tentative knock at the door.

‘It’s _me,_ Andromeda, your mother-slash-mother-in-law, is it safe to come in?’

Tonks sighed, burying her face against a now-clothed Remus’ chest.

‘Yes, you’re safe,’ Remus called back, and Andromeda _slowly_ opened the door, poking her head in.

‘… I just… wanted to apologise for earlier… I should have knocked, I _should have knocked,_ ’ Andromeda insisted, and Remus shook his head.

‘It’s quite alright, Andromeda. We can’t expect you to knock in your own house…’

‘Well, no, but I – well, I _understand_ that the two of you are – but I suppose I just didn’t expect Nymphadora to be… to be _up to_ –‘

‘ _Okay,_ Mum, it’s fine, just please stop talking,’ Tonks piped up, and Andromeda nodded.

‘Yes, yes, well – it’s Teddy. He won’t settle for me,’ Andromeda’s expression softened slightly, ‘I think he might want his mother.’ Tonks gave an immediate smile, walking across the room to the door. The three of them left the bathroom, following Tonks to her only childhood bedroom where she, Remus and Teddy had been staying. She went over to the bassinet, within which Teddy was fussing and wriggling, and picked him up.

‘Oh, baby _boy,_ what’s going on, huh? Are you being a little brat for Grandma?’ Tonks asked. Andromeda scoffed in the doorway, Remus smiling from where he stood just behind her. Andromeda looked up, placing a hand on Remus’ back and ushering him into the room. ‘I’ll leave you two to it.’ Remus smiled and nodded in thanks, and as Andromeda left he shut the door gently, so as not to disturb the mother and son across the room. ‘Oh, _there we go,_ now you sleep, huh? I’m sure you’ve been giving Grandmxa and Dad lots of grief with your sleeping, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, I have,’ Remus walked over to the two of them, his voice higher pitches as he narrated for his son, ‘I hate sleeping without Mum here, I won’t sleep at night unless I’m in Dad’s arms, some nights.’ Tonks laughed, leaning back against Remus as she cuddled Teddy in her arms.

‘Ahh, you’re the cheekiest little man in the _whole world,’_ Tonks mused.

‘With the best mum in the whole world,’ Remus continued. Tonks glanced up at Remus, smirking as she looked back to Teddy.

‘And the best dad,’ Tonks added. Remus wrapped his arms around Tonks waist, and the two of them stood there for what could have been seconds, minutes or hours just swaying. However long it was, the little family were just happy to all be back together again, the parents swaying until Teddy had long gone to sleep.


	11. Back to the Start

Remus awoke to the sound of Teddy crying in what he was sure were the wee hours of the morning. He turned over, blinking slowly, when he realised that Tonks must have gotten up to tend to their son. He rolled back over, pulling the covers over himself, but the crying did not stop. Remus waited for a few more moments before sitting up, realising that Tonks was not there, and Teddy was still crying out into nothingness. Remus first got up to tend to Teddy, and after a nappy change, the boy settled back into slumber in his bassinet easily. Remus then left the room to head downstairs, his wand in the sleeve of his shirt as he slowly approached the light he saw on in the dining room. When he realised that Tonks was the only one there, he relaxed slightly, and before he could even speak, Tonks had begun.

‘I know, I should be asleep,’ she muttered without even turning around, having heard or sensed his presence. ‘But I have a meeting with Kingsley in like, two days and I need to work out what… what the _hell I’m doing._ ’ Tonks breathed a deep, stressed sigh, and Remus took the few steps needed to cross the room, sitting down in the chair beside Tonks. He looked over at her official Ministry stationery which was obviously from her early Auror days, to see the notes she’d written.

‘… _When you first start out, you’re a bit shit at being an Auror?’_ Remus asked, reading off the only sentence that Tonks had written down. Tonks glared daggers at Remus, who was barely holding back laughter from firmly pressed-together lips.

‘ _Shut up,_ ’ Tonks hissed, though a small smile betrayed any stoicism she might have been displaying. Both she and Remus gave a little laugh, but it didn’t take long for stress to fill the room again. Tonks ran a hand through her hair, swallowing hard. ‘I have to tell Kingsley I can’t take the job.’

‘Dora, that’s not true, you can,’ Remus urged, ‘you have the skills. He wouldn’t –‘

‘Wouldn’t have asked me if I couldn’t do it, I _know,_ I just… this is _hard._ What if the next bunch of Aurors are shocking at their job because of me?’ Tonks asked.

‘That isn’t going to happen,’ Remus said, placing a hand on Tonks’ shoulder and giving a slight squeeze. He paused for a moment before standing up. ‘Wait there.’

‘Wasn’t going anywhere,’ Tonks mused, but she watched as Remus left. After a minute, he returned with an overstuffed, cheaply-made briefcase in his hand, and he placed it on the table and opened it with a soft click. Parchment immediately slipped out, and though Remus did his best to contain it, the papers slid all across the table. Tonks gave a faint smile as she picked up the papers, recognising them from her own experience as plans for the Defence Against the Dark Arts curriculum Remus had taught some years ago.

‘Trust me, there are some early notes in here that are worse than yours,’ said Remus, and Tonks snorted.

‘Thanks,’ she replied, and Remus sighed.

‘ _I’m just saying,_ I know it’s difficult. But it gets easier once you get started. I promise,’ he said. Tonks nodded, looking through some of the notes that Remus had made on hinkypunks, boggarts, grindylows and –

‘Oh, shit, Remus… they made you do a lesson on…?’ Tonks nudged a piece of parchment towards Remus, one that had _werewolves_ in small, spidery writing.

‘… Yes. Well… some of them. Severus took the liberty of taking some of the others…’ Remus glanced at the paper, and Tonks frowned.

‘God. What an ar –‘

‘Let’s not speak ill of the dead, Dora,’ Remus murmured, and Tonks gave a sigh.

‘Fine. What an _arsehole move_ on his part. Better?’ she asked. Remus sighed, taking the piece of paper about the lupine affliction and placing it back in the briefcase. Tonks paused for a moment before shaking her head, going back to looking through Remus’ notes. She went back to the botes on boggarts, which seemed to be some of the most detailed. ‘I just… you know _so much about this stuff,_ Remus. There’s a reason Dumbledore made you professor.’

‘And you don’t think there’s a reason Kingsley asked you to be Head Auror?’ Remus asked.

‘You can’t just keep hitting me with _Kingsley_ this, _Kingsley_ that. Surely there’s a limit to the number of times you can pull the Minister for Magic card on me,’ Tonks retorted playfully. Remus gave a small smile.

‘I don’t believe there is, no,’ Remus replied, before getting serious once more. ‘Dora, you need to remember… you completed something which is seen by _so many_ as being the most difficult thing to achieve in the entire wizarding world. Think about how many students in your year wanted to be Aurors. There were more than I can count in my year, and I don’t think a single one got in. But _you_ did. I’d say almost _anyone_ who makes it into and through Auror training is more than qualified for being Head Auror.’ Tonks sighed, placing her hands on her face and rubbing at it slightly.

‘Right. Right,’ she said, slowly, as if trying to convince herself of something. Remus cocked an eyebrow.

‘What’s _right?’_ he asked. Tonks lifted her quill again and started to scribble on her page. Remus read over her shoulder as she wrote frantically.

_When I applied for Auror training, I:_

  * _Didn’t think I’d get in_
  * _Was studying my arse off_
  * _Got told I’d never make it_



_Once I started Auror training, I:_

  * _Was scared shitless_
  * _Always felt like I had no idea what I was doing_
  * _Messed up a bunch_



Remus gave a faint smile as Tonks continued writing down her own experiences, even making small notes beside those experiences about ways to combat them (or not, as the case was with making mistakes – ‘ _you’re going to make mistakes,’_ she wrote, ‘ _own them and move on!’_ ). Remus eventually leant over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

‘I hesitate to stop you,’ he remarked, ‘but you really ought to get some sleep.’ Tonks sighed and reached up, patting Remus’ hand gently.

‘Yeah, I s’pose so…’ Tonks stood, leaving her papers on the table so she could resume work in the morning. She stretched for a moment before going to head up the stairs, following after Remus.

‘You know, your bum looks _mint_ in those pyjama pants,’ Tonks teased, and Remus smiled with an eye-roll.

‘Glad to see you’re back to your old self, Dora,’ he replied.

The night passed, as it does, and Tonks was the one who got up when Teddy awoke just before six in the morning. She lifted him up from his bassinet, changing him and reassuring Remus that he could have a lie-in this morning before taking him down to the living room. She laid him down on the small playmat on the floor, laying down beside him and enchanting a few of the rattles around him to hover and shake above him. She watched Teddy expectantly, fully thinking that he would track and follow the rattles with his eyes, but he did not. In fact, he seemed agitated for some reason or another. He gave a little shriek, kicking his feet, and Tonks frowned.

‘What’s up, little man?’ she asked, letting the rattles float to the ground and leaning over to place the back of her hand against Teddy’s cheek. ‘You’re not getting sick, are you?’ she asked. There was a toy beside Teddy, and if Tonks didn’t know better, she would have _sworn_ that it moved slightly on its own. She blinked, staring at the toy, and then letting her eyes flick back to Teddy. ‘… Um… Teddy, did you…’

And there the toy went again, the rattle seeming to move the slightest amount. Either Tonks was going crazy, or _someone_ was moving that rattle. She slowly reached a hand out, flicking it upwards to send this rattle up into the air above Teddy. It started to rock and shake, and sure enough, Teddy gleefully followed its path in the air with his eyes.

‘Good morning, Nymphadora,’ Andromeda said, walking into the living room as she tied her dressing gown around her, ‘and good morning Teddy, how are you, my little sweet-pea?’ she asked, leaning down and letting a baby tone invade her voice.

‘Mum, how old was I when you and Dad knew I was a witch?’ Tonks asked, and Andromeda blinked up at her.

‘Well, we knew _something_ was magical about you when your eyes changed colour every few hours in your first few days. But as far as actual magic… you were probably about four. Why?’ Andromeda asked.

‘I just – I _swear_ Teddy just moved that rattle without touching it, Mum,’ Tonks said, sitting up. Andromeda blinked.

‘At Teddy’s age? Are you sure you aren’t seeing things, dear?’ she asked.

‘I… I don’t know, maybe… but I just – I _swear,’_ she muttered, shaking her head. Andromeda smiled, leaning over to place a hand on Tonks’ shoulder.

‘I think you’re sleep deprived, my darling. That seems more likely, don’t you think?’ she asked. Tonks nodded slowly, and Andromeda leant down to pick up Teddy. ‘How about I take care of Teddy this morning and you get a little more of a rest?’ Again, Tonks nodded slowly, standing up and leaning in to kiss Teddy’s cheek.

‘That sounds good. Thanks, Mum,’ she muttered sleepily, turning to head back up the stairs to crawl back into bed next to her equally sleep-deprived husband. She fell asleep within what seemed like seconds, and she was awoken gently by Remus sometime later.

‘Dora… what time is your meeting with Kingsley?’ he asked.

‘Mmm… s’at ten,’ she muttered, and she could swear she almost heard Remus let out an uncharacteristic swear word.

‘Uh, it… it may… _may_ already be ten to ten, Dora,’ he remarked, and Tonks’ eyes immediately bolted open. She made moves to get up and out of bed, throwing the covers off and rushing across the room to get dressed. She rarely used her metamorphmagus powers to get ready or to just look more put together, but Remus knew those rules were out the window as her hair smoothed itself down into a more respectable state and her face cleared itself of sleep without Tonks needing to touch it. She got dressed at a record speed, grabbing her shoes and hopping across the room as she put them on.

‘I – I’ll be back later today, okay?!’ she called to Remus as she stumbled down the stairs, rushing to the dining room to grab her notes.

‘Oh, Nymphadora, I –‘ Andromeda started, but Tonks shook her head.

‘No time now, Mum, talk later!’ And with that and a quiet _pop,_ Tonks disappeared from the room and reappeared in the atrium of the Ministry. She’d never quite been so glad that one of Kingsley’s first acts as Minister was abolishing the need to go through the public bathroom entrance to the Ministry, but that time-saver still didn’t seem like it would be enough for Tonks to make it to her meeting in time.

It took a painfully long time for her to check her wand in and get through her security check, and by the time she had her hands on her wand again she was already five minutes late. Then it was a matter of going in three elevators, endless paths and _another_ security check before she finally knocked on the door to Kingsley’s office.

‘Come in, Tonks,’ said the familiar voice from seemingly nowhere, and Tonks rushed in looking almost as frazzled as she had when she’d gotten out of bed.

‘Bloody hell, I’m sorry I’m so late, Kings – I – I mean, _Minister –_ ‘ Tonks let out a heavy sigh, expecting Kingsley to say something about not having time to waste now that he was minister, but he just laughed. Tonks blinked, and Kingsley continued laughing heartily until Tonks eventually joined in. She pulled up a chair in front of his desk, and Kingsley folded his hands and leant forward.

‘I’ve missed working with you, Tonks,’ he remarked, and Tonks smiled.

‘I’ve missed working full stop – I mean, clearly, I’m so bloody out of practice,’ she grinned, ‘but yeah. It’s good to see you too, Kingsley.’

‘Anyway, today is tragically a business meeting, though not a formal one… I was just wanting to see how you were going with planning the Auror training – I trust you got the material I sent you?’ Kingsley asked. Tonks blinked.

‘… Wait, I was supposed to get _materials?_ ’ she asked. Kingsley blinked.

‘Yes… I had my junior undersecretary send them to you…’ he added. Tonks raised an eyebrow.

‘Did they send it to my flat?’ she asked, and Kingsley nodded. ‘Well, there’s your problem. Remus and I are still living with Mum, she won’t let us leave.’ Kingsley sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘Of course, it completely slipped my mind,’ he murmured.

‘Uh… good? Because… you’re the Minister for Magic, I’d much rather that slip your mind than something important,’ Tonks grinned, and Kingsley seemed slightly more at ease.

‘Still, I imagine it made your job that much harder,’ Kingsley added, and Tonks shrugged.

‘I mean, it didn’t make it easier, that’s for sure. But Remus helped me out… he’s a half-decent teacher, after all,’ she remarked.

‘I’d hope so, considering Minerva’s first act as headmistress was rehiring him.’

‘Well, basically, he helped me to just… go through what it was like for me to train as an auror. What it’s really like, y’know? And work around that,’ Tonks began. She showed Kingsley her notes, which earned her another hearty laugh from the minister.

‘We really were shocking when we started, weren’t we?’ he asked. Tonks nodded vehemently.

‘I have no idea how Mad-Eye dealt with me when I started…’ Tonks sighed small at the thought of her late mentor. ‘I feel like I’m going to channel him a little when I start this training. ‘Cause he was a really good teacher, even if people thought he was bloody terrifying,’ she smirked. Kingsley nodded in agreement.

‘Speaking of teachers… I’ve been meaning to ask one more thing of you,’ he said. Tonks paled, bringing a hand up to her forehead.

‘Really, Kingsley? You’re gonna give me grey hairs, mate,’ she remarked, and Kingsley shook his head.

‘I don’t think this is going to be too much more on your plate – well, rather, I think you’re certainly the person for the job.’

‘Come on, out with it,’ Tonks said. ‘How bad can it be?’ Kingsley smiled and shook his head once more.

‘It isn’t _bad,_ Tonks. But we’ve singled out some early auror applicants as being potential candidates for mentoring, much like Alastor mentored you. One of those applicants is Harry Potter,’ said Kingsley. Tonks blinked, leaning back in her seat with a sigh.

‘Never heard of him,’ she said, only holding her smirk back for a second before leaning forward with a disbelieving laugh. ‘Really? You just want me to mentor Harry? That’s fine,’ she added.

‘I did tell you it was nothing to be concerned about.’ Kingsley straightened in his seat a little. ‘Just… know that it will likely come with some… extra attention.’ Tonks paused, blinking slowly. She hadn’t really thought of that.

‘Oh, well… yeah, naturally, he did… y’know, defeat Voldemort. Gotta expect _some_ press,’ Tonks remarked, ‘hopefully it’s all good and he makes me look great. That Harry Potter? Yeah, I taught him all he knows,’ she grinned, deflecting some of the concern that she was truly feeling. Kingsley sensed that was what she was doing, but considering their meeting time was drawing to a close, he chose actively not to broach the subject.

‘Well, it seems as if everything’s on track for your commencement of your role – are you still happy to start at the beginning of the Hogwarts term?’ Kingsley asked. Tonks gave a quick nod.

‘Yeah, that’s when Remus starts back at Hogwarts anyway, so we’ll get everything sorted before then. Or… I guess, we’ll _try._ ’ Tonks said. Kingsley stood with a small laugh.

‘Either that or Molly will sort it all for you,’ he remarked, and Tonks gave a laugh.

‘True, she’s been a godsend. Between her and Mum I’ve barely had to lift a finger. Hopefully, I still know how to work,’ Tonks joked. Kingsley rolled his eyes subtly, but Tonks caught it and gave a smirk.

‘You will remember, Tonks. You’ve got this under control. Say hello to Teddy and Remus for me, won’t you?’ he asked. With a nod, Tonks waved and left the office, making her way back down to the atrium before apparating right back into her mother’s living room. Andromeda was sitting by the fireplace and jumped slightly.

‘Oh! Dear, you really mustn’t do that.’ Andromeda straightened in her chair a little before relaxing slightly. ‘How was your meeting? Did Kingsley ask much more of you?’ With a quick breath in, and with her mind racing over all of the things she and Remus had to do before the start of term, Tonks looked to her mother.

‘… Oh, _no._ Hardly anything.’


	12. Build Me Up

The beginning of the school term was fast approaching, and Tonks suspected that the end of hers and her family’s time living with Andromeda was too. Andromeda needed her space, as did Tonks and Remus, and the lack of it meant that they were all getting on one another’s nerves more often nowadays. The problem had been that Tonks had given up her nearby apartment soon after learning she was pregnant, knowing that it wasn’t big enough for a growing family. The logical place to move was Remus’ cottage, because though it was slightly run-down, it was spacious enough for the three of them. The problem with this was it was a matter of hours away from Andromeda, something which didn’t please her at all. But the lack of space was doing no good to any of them, and eventually, Tonks was the one who gave way, opening up the conversation over the dinner table.

‘So, Mum… Remus and I are thinking about moving back to his old place,’ she remarked. Andromeda paused, blinking up at Tonks and then at Remus.

‘… Well, why?’ she asked. Tonks’ eyes widened slightly, but Remus put a hand on her knee under the table. They had to stay calm about this, he had reminded her.

‘Well, because there’s more space there. And I think we all need our space, don’t you?’ Tonks asked. She knew that Andromeda could not protest that fact.

‘Well, perhaps… but surely you can find somewhere that’s a little closer and… no offence meant, Remus, but… _nicer.’_ Andromeda remarked, and even Remus had gotten used to her slightly abrupt way of speaking recently.

‘Well, the Weasleys have offered to help us spruce it up,’ said Remus, looking at Tonks, ‘and the bare bones of the home are solid. It’s in a good area, wizard-friendly… I just know that it happens to be a fair distance from here.’ Remus let his voice trail off gently, and Andromeda’s eyes seemed glossy.

‘Mum, you know it’s a piece of cake to apparate from here to Remus’ place,’ Tonks said. Andromeda cleared her throat.

‘Teddy is too young to apparate safely. And besides, it’s… it’s not the _point,_ Nymphadora. It’s… it’s knowing you’re _near…_ ’ Andromeda’s voice choked up and she brought a hand to her mouth before standing form the table in a rush. She stood up, going to move away, but Tonks stood too to head over to her.

‘Mum, oh, Mum…’ she said, rushing over to an Andromeda who was now openly crying. Remus felt more than a little uncomfortable, but stayed nonetheless – this was his family now, and he wanted his mother-in-law to feel supported.

‘No, it’s okay – I knew this was coming, dear, I thought I was _ready -‘_

‘Mum, it’s okay, it’s not like we’re moving out straight away! We have time, please,’ Tonks insisted. Remus stood, nodding as he slowly approached the two women, keeping a slight distance.

‘I know, dear, I know,’ Andromeda managed.

‘And! And,’ Tonks began, looking back at Remus, ‘You can visit us whenever you like! You can even come and stay with us, right, Remus?’ He was on the spot ever so slightly, and it wasn’t like he could ask to discuss it or it would seem like he was saying no. So Remus simply nodded, and Tonks turned her head back to her mother immediately with a smile. ‘See, Mum? It’s going to be fine.’

‘I… I suppose you’re right,’ said Andromeda, sniffling small. She looked to Remus and gave a sad smile. ‘Thank you for opening your home to me, but I don’t expect I’ll take the offer up too much. You need your space.’

‘It’s fine, Andromeda, really,’ Remus insisted, and Andromeda shook her head, patting her daughter’s hand which was wrapped in her own.

‘I’ll settle for getting to babysit Teddy regularly,’ she replied, reaching up to wipe at her eyes again. Remus gave a smile which was slightly relieved but entirely grateful.

‘That sounds perfect, Andromeda,’ he said. Tonks just stood there in front of her mother, keeping a hold of her hand. She didn’t want to let go – and leaving her mother so soon after Ted’s death seemed abrupt, even when Tonks thought about it. But deep down, even Andromeda knew that they all needed the space, and so when the day finally came for the three of them to move out, Andromeda overcompensated hugely.

‘Alright, that box is full of Teddy’s things, that needs to go up the stairs and to the left,’ she told Charlie, who had come through the door of Remus’ cottage with a box in his arms. Tonks swept over to Charlie with Teddy in her arms, giving an apologetic look as he went up the stairs before turning to her mother.

‘Mum… the Weasleys are volunteering their time to help us move and tidy, let’s not bark at them.’

‘Oh, I’m not _barking,_ Nymphadora,’ Andromeda remarked, and Tonks blinked before deciding against commenting.

‘Just… we appreciate your help too, but we do have a small army of Weasleys here. They run like a well-oiled machine. Plus, if you do all the organising, poor old Percy’s not going to have a job to do, now, is he?’ Tonks asked. Andromeda sighed small, reaching out to smooth back her grandson’s hair, which was Weasley red that day.

‘I’m only trying to expedite the process, dear. Besides, Teddy will need a nap soon, we should get his crib set up –‘

‘We should, which is why Remus and Bill are doing that now,’ Tonks interrupted, another sigh emerging from Andromeda’s mouth at the abrupt words.

‘… I’ll leave you to it,’ she relented, and Tonks smiled, leaning in to kiss her mother on the cheek.

‘Really, though. Thank you, Mum,’ she reiterated, and Andromeda nodded as she headed for Percy to give him some tips on how to make the process to run as smoothly as possible. Tonks stood there for a moment, about to shake her head when she noticed two new members of the moving party had appeared, flanking the youngest Weasley son on either side.

‘Harry? Hermione? What are you doing here?’ Tonks asked.

‘Helping, of course,’ Hermione remarked, and Harry nodded in unison. Tonks didn’t miss the way that he looked sideways at Ron for a moment, though, and she narrowed her eyes with a small smirk.

‘Mmhm. Nobody’s looking to get any information on the auror program, are they?’ she asked. Hermione blinked.

‘Well, of course not, I’m going back to complete my N.E.W.Ts, so –‘

‘Not you, love,’ Tonks remarked to Hermione, giving a small laugh, ‘these boys.’ Hermione flushed a faint red and Ron and Harry stared ahead, both shaking their heads in abject denial.

‘My whole family’s here –‘ Ron started.

‘Teddy’s my godson –‘ Harry began. Tonks just burst out laughing, as did Hermione and Ginny, who had made her way into the cottage behind her friends.

‘You gits,’ Ginny remarked, nudging Hermione along to put some more boxes upstairs with her. As Hermione and Ginny left, Ron sighed, cracking much quicker than Harry.

‘C’mon, Tonks, this is the first time Harry and I have ever wanted to get ahead in _anything,_ ’ Ron remarked. Tonks snorted.

‘Well, that _is_ impressive. But, if we’re being honest… I don’t even have the whole auror program nailed down. So we’re in the same boat, boys,’ Tonks remarked, handing the boxless Harry the baby that was in her arms. It might have been her favourite thing to see Harry react to holding a baby – it never got any less priceless. This time he seized up, eyes widening as Teddy merely breathed. ‘Hey, he’s your godson.’

‘He’s your _actual son,_ Tonks,’ Harry replied, supporting Teddy as if he were fragile and breakable – which, to be fair, he was to an extent. Ron smirked, and Tonks didn’t miss it, pursing her lips as she looked at him.

‘Oh, you want a hold, do you, Ron?’ As soon as Tonks asked, Ron spluttered, hoisting the box he was holding a little higher before going to take it into the kitchen, as it was clearly labelled. Tonks only laughed, looking over at her son and his godfather, taking a step closer to them. ‘I can tell _you_ something, actually, Harry.’

‘Hm?’ Harry asked, having relaxed ever so slightly.

‘Well… by request of the Minister himself… I’m going to be your mentor in the program. I’m not sure if I’ll have multiple trainees, ‘cause if I do, I’ll try and get Ron too, but… just thought you should know.’ Tonks smirked, and Harry’s eyes lit up at the thought. He was worried that training was going to be nothing but a boring slog, but if anyone could make it fun, it would be Tonks. He just hoped that she would still make it fun now that she was going to be Head Auror.

‘That’s brilliant,’ he remarked, noticing then that Teddy was starting to fall asleep in his arms. Tonks smiled wide, but Harry seemed to seize up again, not knowing what to do. Tonks gave him a reprieve this time, going to ease Teddy out of his arms and up into her own.

‘Glad you think so,’ she replied to Harry with a smile and a wink before murmuring to Teddy, ‘oh, is all this doing nothing tiring you out, baby? Shall we go and see how Daddy and Uncle Bill are going with your cot? Yeah?’ she asked. Harry stood there slightly awkwardly, still not having the tools to deal with interactions with a baby. Tonks left him to head upstairs towards Remus’ old spare room, which was slowly but surely being turned into Teddy’s room. Beyond the door sat Remus on the floor and stood Bill by the window, both men with their heads in their hands beside a half-finished cot. Remus was the first one to look up, and he looked completely dejected.

‘… We put it together backwards, Dora.’ He managed, and Bill looked up to give a sad nod.

‘We thought we were done,’ he remarked, Remus giving an emphatic nod in solidarity. ‘But we aren’t, not even _close._ ’ Remus seemed to realise that Teddy was in desperate need for a nap, and he gestured down the corridor.

‘The bassinet is in our room if you need to put him down… this is going to still be a while. We may need another pair of hands, too, if there are any,’ Remus remarked. Tonks just laughed small.

‘Yeah, of course. Harry and Hermione have just gotten here, I’ll send Harry up,’ said Tonks, ‘and I’ll leave you to it.’ She turned to leave Teddy’s room to head for the master bedroom, where Teddy’s bassinet sat on Remus’ bed – or, she supposed, Remus’ and her bed, now. She went to lie him down in it gently, watching as he settled into the familiar bed with ease.

‘He’s a good little sleeper, isn’t he?’

Tonks turned around to see Molly at the door, and she gave a huge smile and a nod at the question.

‘He is, thank goodness,’ she replied, motioning for Molly to come over and look at the almost-sleeping baby. ‘Thank you for getting the whole clan out today, by the way. Remus and I really appreciate it.’

‘Oh, they wouldn’t be anywhere else, dear.’ Molly smiled earnestly, and Tonks returned the expression. Things were finally starting to settle down after the war, though the wounds from the losses of Fred and Arthur would take much longer to heal. Molly was being strong as always, leaving those around her in awe of her poise.

‘Poor Bill and Remus put the cot together the wrong way, so they –‘ Tonks paused, remembering that she needed to call Harry up to help with the cot assembly. She waved Molly along to walk with her as she went to head downstairs. ‘They need to start over, that’s why Teddy’s in the bassinet. I have to send Harry up to help them.’ Molly nodded at the explanation of where they were going, and she watched at Tonks found Harry and asked if he could go and help Bill and Remus with the cot construction. Harry agreed readily, and Tonks turned back to Molly with a sigh.

‘I feel like I’m doing nothing, just… bossing other people around. I’m turning into my mother,’ Tonks lamented, and Molly smiled with a shake of her head, putting a hand on Tonks’ shoulder.

‘You’re not doing nothing. You have a little one to take care of – not to mention you gave birth to that little one not all that long ago,’ Molly insisted. Tonks gave a slightly relieved smile, and Molly gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘How’s it all going with the Ministry work too, dear?’ asked Molly. Tonks sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

‘It’s… it’s a lot. But that’s okay, I’ll… I’ll get there,’ Tonks said, her voice wavering ever so slightly. Molly raised an eyebrow.

‘There’s no shame in asking for support,’ Molly replied.

‘I know, and – and I _have_ support. I just… it’s getting used to a new normal that’s hard.’

‘… Oh, I know, dear.’

Tonks felt an icy cold feeling shoot up her spine, and her eyes went wide. Had she truly just explained to a woman who had lost her son and her husband in a war that adjusting was difficult?

‘ _Fuck,_ Molly, I didn’t mean – I – _shit –_ ‘ Tonks stumbled over her words, but Molly soothed her immediately with a hand on the arm and a shake of the head.

‘No, no, don’t worry… you’re okay. It’s okay. I just… I truly do understand. It’s… it’s terrifying. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I raised seven children.’ Molly gave a little sigh, rubbing Tonks’ arm. ‘But somehow we do it.’

‘I just… _how_ do you do it, Molly?’ asked Tonks.

‘Truthfully… I don’t know. I just… I just keep on going, no matter what. I can’t let anything stop me from keeping on going. I have too much to keep going for – and so do you. You have Teddy, you have Remus, you have your mother, you have all of us… we’re all family now. We lean on one another. And we keep going for one another.’ By the time Molly had finished speaking, Tonks had tears in her eyes that she quickly wiped away with one hand, holding Molly’s hand with her other.

‘Now I’m crying, Molly, look what you did,’ Tonks sniffled, and even Molly had tears welling in her eyes as she squeezed Tonks’ hand.

‘It’s what mothers do,’ Molly remarked, which only had Tonks crying more. They stood there like that for a few more moments before Charlie came into the kitchen with a box which he put down with a thud. He had obviously tried to sneak in without being noticed, but he could be almost as clumsy as his former classmate sometimes.

‘ _Shit,_ sorry –‘

‘Language, Charlie!’

‘Mum, I’m twent-‘

‘I don’t care, Charlie, language!’ Molly chirped, and Tonks gave a teary laugh from behind her.

‘You trying to break my crockery, Weasley?’ Tonks asked.

‘You having a moment with _my mum,_ Tonks?’ Charlie asked. They both grinned, and Charlie walked over to sling one arm around Molly and the other around Tonks. ‘What’re you two sobbing about, anyway?’

‘Motherly things, Charlie,’ Molly remarked.

‘Yeah, Charlie, stuff like pushing a baby out of your –‘

‘ _Okay,’_ Charlie slunk away from the two of them, Tonks giving a hearty laugh and Molly giving a slightly smaller one. He grinned nonetheless before heading back out of the kitchen, Tonks glancing around with yet another sigh.

‘We have to unpack all of this, yet. Not to mention tidy up the place. Don’t think my husband’s ever met a feather duster,’ Tonks murmured. Molly shook her head.

‘Please, a few cleaning spells and this place will be good as new. The unpacking, though… I’m afraid there’s not really a spell for that. And to levitate everything into place is more hassle than it’s worth,’ Molly mused. Tonks smirked, running a hand through her hair as she went to leave the kitchen to see just how many boxes were left. It was a pleasant surprise when George walked through the door with an announcement.

‘That’s the last of ‘em, then,’ he remarked, and Tonks blinked in disbelief.

‘Seriously? That’s all of our stuff?’ Tonks asked, and George just gave a quiet nod. He had become a lot quieter since the loss of Fred, but all things considered, he was coping pretty well. ‘Wow,’ she muttered, and George placed the last box down in the living room. Tonks looked around, everyone clustered around bar the three men who were still attempting to assemble a cot upstairs. She glanced at Molly, who smiled reassuringly. Tonks exhaled long – this was her family. They were all here simply to help her, Remus and Teddy, nothing more. They expected nothing in return, but Tonks could do them one better to show her gratitude.

‘Alright, who’s hungry? There’s a great fish and chip shop just down the road,’ Tonks asked, and everyone murmured in agreement as she beamed, happily taking her family’s orders as a small gesture of thanks, not only for the help moving, but for the support that they had unwaveringly given for as long as Tonks could remember.


	13. Going Back

The day had arrived. Between moving and settling Teddy in, both Tonks and Remus had barely realised how close the beginning of term was. It wasn’t until two weeks beforehand that Kingsley showed up at their house to check on Tonks’ progress with the Auror training program that they were removed from their little bubble of normality.

The two of them spent the next fortnight in a near frenzy of preparation, Tonks more so than her husband. He was relatively prepared – and so was she – but he had done his job before. She never had.

Those two weeks went past quick as could be, and by the time Remus had finally gotten Teddy to bed the night before both he and his wife were due to start work again, the both of them were ready for bed too. Remus walked into his and Tonks’ bedroom, and caught sight of a brown-haired woman standing in front of the mirror. The hair was cropped short, and neater than Tonks’ hair had perhaps ever been.

‘… A change?’ asked Remus as he grabbed his pyjamas from the floor. Tonks snorted.

‘You can say that again.’ Tonks sighed. ‘I hate it.’ Remus raised an eyebrow as he was getting changed, pausing for a moment before speaking up again.

‘Then… why are you keeping it like that?’ he asked, tentatively. Tonks turned around, looking truly miserable.

‘Because the Head Auror can’t have pink hair, Remus,’ Tonks lamented, and Remus continued to look confused. ‘Don’t make that dopey face at me, you know it’s true.’ There was a little laugh from across the room, and Remus approached Tonks with that same, dopey look etched on his face.

‘Well,’ he remarked, placing his hands on Tonks’ shoulders and rubbing them gently, ‘it’s true that a Head Auror has never had pink hair – I don’t think. But that doesn’t mean that they _can’t._ It just means that they _haven’t._ ’

‘I know it’s not a written rule, Remus, I’m not stupid,’ she sighed, lulling her head to the side. ‘It’s just. Unspoken.’

‘Mmm. Well. The Ministry’s unspoken rules have, historically, been poor,’ Remus added. Tonks paused and cleared her throat. The Ministry had, at one time or another, had unspoken rules about Muggleborns like Tonks’ own father, not to mention prejudices on race, gender and sexuality. She swallowed hard and nodded small, and slowly the pink bled back into her hair from her roots. Her hair fluffed up back to its natural state, and Remus couldn’t help but smile at the return.

‘You’re right,’ she remarked, turning back to the mirror, ‘up the Ministry.’

‘You do work for them,’ Remus added, ‘and one of our best friends is Minister.’

‘Still,’ Tonks smirked, ‘up the Ministry. It’s good to have some healthy anti-establishment feelings now and again, Remus.’ She gave herself one last look in the mirror before going to grab her own pyjamas, talking across the room to Remus. ‘How’re you feeling about tomorrow?’

‘Nervous, I suppose,’ he replied, ‘I’m just hoping I have everything in order for classes. But as far as the running of the school goes, everything seems to be back to normality. Or as close as we can get after everything,’ Remus mused. Tonks nodded and, after getting changed, went to get into bed with a contemplative expression. Remus had visited the Hogwarts grounds a few times over the summer, but she hadn’t been back since the battle.

‘I’m sure you’re going to be great,’ she assured him, and spoke again after a slight pause. ‘Can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be for everyone to go back, though.’ Remus nodded.

‘Professor McGonagall has hired a number of healers who specialise in ‘matters of the mind,’ as they call it,’ Remus replied.

‘Essentially like Muggle therapists, yeah?’ asked Tonks. Remus nodded.

‘And Professor Sprout and I know that we have the houses with the highest numbers of students who remained for the battle, so we’re going to work together to watch over our students. It’s not going to be easy, but…’

‘But you’re doing all you can. And that’s all you can do. You’ll be brilliant for these kids, I know you will,’ Tonks reached a hand out to Remus’ arm, and he reached over to place his hand on top of hers.

‘Thank you,’ he murmured, though he still seemed slightly unsure of himself as he settled back into bed.

‘What’s still rattling around up there?’ she asked, reaching up to push some of Remus’ still greying hair behind his ear.

‘It’s nothing, really,’ Remus muttered. Tonks frowned deeply.

‘That’s not true. Come on,’ she insisted.

‘I’m just… concerned that… some students and parents will still be unhappy that someone like me has such a senior post as Hogwarts,’ admitted Remus. Tonks had to think for a moment – it had been a long time since Remus had lamented his condition, for it had been a long time since he had needed to. For the whole summer, they had been in contact with Slughorn, who had been providing Wolfsbane Potion happily in exchange for a visit with two of the only known Metamorphmagi in Britain. Slughorn thought the world of Teddy, and the hope of the Potions Master that the baby would one day find his way into Slytherin House was a small price to pay for Remus’ wellbeing. But now that school was going back, Remus had more reason to worry.  His status as a werewolf was almost universally known.

‘Oh, Remus,’ said Tonks sympathetically, her hand resting on Remus’ shoulder. She scooted over to him, leaning against him and wrapping an arm around him as she did so. ‘It’s going to be okay. You did so much good during the war, and people know that. They care more about that than a condition which doesn’t impact your life any more than having a baby son does,’ Tonks continued, referring to the fatigue Remus still suffered around the full moon.

‘I know… and you, Dora, you… you have helped me understand that better than anyone. But… I just fear that others won’t be so sympathetic. That in a world without Voldemort, they may be looking for anything to fear. Most other werewolves were killed or imprisoned in Azkaban…’ said Remus.

‘Yeah, and you weren’t, because of what you did. Because you’re one of the good guys. Everyone _knows_ that, and if they don’t, I’ll march bloody Kingsley down and have the _Minister_ explain it.’ Tonks was emphatic now, staring right up at Remus and waiting for a response. She relaxed slightly when she got a faint smile, and Remus tilted his head down to Tonks.

‘… You’d really get Kingsley out or his ministerial duties for me?’ Remus asked.

‘To be honest, babe, I’d get Kingsley out of his ministerial duties to get me a packet of crisps – but yes, for you, I would _also_ do it,’ Tonks grinned.  Remus couldn’t help but give a little laugh as he shook his head, and the two of them settled in to sleep – intermittently interrupted, of course, by Teddy awaking a few times through the night. Eventually, they were awoken not by Teddy, but by a knock on the front door. Remus stirred first, looking over at the clock beside the bed – it was still ten minutes until they needed to wake up, who could possibly be at the d –

‘ _Mum,_ are you serious?’ Tonks whined the answer to Remus’ unspoken question into the pillow, groaning as she reluctantly tossed off the covers. ‘I told her not to come this early, but does she listen? _No._ ’ Remus stayed lying in the bed for a few moments longer as Tonks got up, pulling a dressing gown on before heading down to the door. She opened it and indeed, her premonition had been correct, as there stood Andromeda looking far too happy for the hour that it was.

‘Good morning, dear,’ said Andromeda with a smile.

‘Morning, Mum. You’re early,’ Tonks grumbled, rubbing at her eyes and giving a yawn as she let Andromeda in past her.

‘Yes, well, I figured, your first day and all, you might want to get going early or something of the like, so I thought better safe than sorry,’ Andromeda said as she walked in, kissing Tonks on the cheek before heading straight for the stairs. Tonks took a deep breath, shutting the door and keeping any qualms she might have had to herself. At least this would give her and Remus time to get ready. ‘Good morning, Remus!’ Andromeda’s shrill voice called up to Remus as he headed into the bathroom, calling back a quick ‘morning’ before ducking in to shower. Tonks folded her arms as Andromeda casually swanned around the living room, checking everything around the house out as she did every time she came over. Tonks was largely used to her mother’s idiosyncrasies, and so just headed upstairs to get herself dressed. Admittedly, having Andromeda there made things much easier once Teddy woke up, but by the time they had gotten ready, they were quietly wishing that Teddy had been fussier that morning. Both of the parents stood by Andromeda, who was holding a contented Teddy in her arms.

‘Well, um… I guess we… we should go –‘ Tonks reached out and stroked the back of Teddy’s hand, swallowing thickly.

‘Not before a cuddle,’ Remus remarked, leaning in and taking Teddy from his grandmother’s arms. Teddy gurgled as his father held him close, glancing up between Andromeda and Tonks.

‘C’mon, I want a cuddle too,’ Tonks said, sidling up to Remus and gently stroking Teddy’s cheek, her eyes fixed on him. Andromeda was standing by silently, just letting the still relatively new parents say their goodbyes. She knew how important this was, not just as a milestone for them as parents, but because of everything they had all gone through. So she didn’t say a word as Remus and Tonks cuddled Teddy for a good fifteen minutes, only speaking up when they risked running late.

‘Teddy and I are going to be just fine today,’ Andromeda insisted, gently easing Teddy from Tonks’ arms. Both the parents looked almost distraught, Tonks even resisting Andromeda slightly as she took Teddy. But the fact of the matter was it was time for them to get going, and so reluctantly, the two of them slipped from the front door after farewelling Andromeda. Tonks gave a sigh as she looked over at Remus, who looked just as upset at leaving their son as she felt. She slipped her hand into his as they started walking.

‘It’s bloody freezing out here at this hour,’ Tonks remarked, walking as close to Remus as she could. He squeezed her hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. ‘We really need to get our fireplace connected to the Floo Network.’

‘You’d think they’d do it for the Head Auror, wouldn’t you?’ asked Remus, and Tonks gave a little laugh.

‘Right? Or the Head of Gryffindor,’ she replied with a nudge.

‘Well, Heads of Gryffindor historically stay at Hogwarts,’ Remus remarked.

‘Yes, but Heads of Gryffindor historically don’t have adorable, new babies,’ added Tonks. Remus nodded small.

‘Very true,’ Remus replied, ‘I’m grateful that Professor McGonagall agreed to connect the fireplace in my old office to the network. It saves having to go to Hogsmeade and fly or Apparate and walk.’

‘True – but that _is_ kind of sad,’ said Tonks with a pout. Remus looked confused, and Tonks continued. ‘I’ve never seen you fly properly. Not outside the Advance Guard, anyway, and even then I was pretty distracted.’

‘And I’m grateful for that - flying there is about as good as I get,’ he replied, to which Tonks snorted.

‘Oh, I _knew_ you’d be no good at it – you’re too bloody tall, you’re all arms and legs,’ she burst out immediately, and Remus feigned hurt.

‘A lesser man would be wounded by your comments, Dora,’ he jabbed back, but Tonks only grinned.

‘Oh, I’d pay galleons to watch you fly,’ she laughed.

‘I’m about as good at flying as _you_ are at Apparating,’ he remarked, and Tonks gave a tiny pout.

‘I’m not _that_ bad at Apparating,’ she rebutted.

‘When we were dating, you apparated us _through_ your coffee table, Dora,’ Remus hit back. Tonks paused, trying to think of a comeback that was suitable, but none came.

‘… I never liked that coffee table, anyway,’ she snorted, and Remus laughed in turn with her.

‘Either way, let’s _both_ be grateful for the Floo Network,’ said Remus. Tonks agreed with a nod.

‘It’s trusty _and_ there are wicked flames. Everyone wins, really,’ she replied. Remus couldn’t help but shake his head and smile as they continued walking, hand in hand, to a little inn that was a little ways from their home. Remus hadn’t chosen the location of his home randomly, and though the place wasn’t as bustling as the Three Broomsticks, The Golden Griffin was most definitely a wizarding pub to the non-Muggle eye. People, like Remus and Tonks, would enter, go past the bar to an obscured booth with a high wall surrounding it and a ‘wet floor’ sign right beside it. There was a suspicious looking stain on the floor, put there to deter Muggles from sitting there at all. If they did sit there, they would only find a beer bottle mysteriously stuck to the table, unable to be moved. Wizards and witches found something different. When Remus tipped the bottle, the wall silently shifted brick-by-brick to reveal another pub-like room. Tonks and Remus scooted across the booth seat, the wall reforming behind them as they stood up in the concealed, wizarding part of the inn. It was quiet at this time of the morning, and the most peculiar thing there was the identical barmaid on this side of the wall – regular customers knew the twin barmaids well, but first-timers always did a double take.

‘Morning, Faith,’ Tonks said as she slid off of the seat into the warmth of the inn.

‘Faith’s out there –‘

‘Mmhm, sure, Faith,’ Tonks remarked offhandedly. She had quickly gotten used to Faith and Grace’s routine of pretending they were one another – she also didn’t have the heart to ask her not to do it after Fred’s death, it having been one of his and George’s favourite tricks. So Tonks just entertained the little quip as she always did, heading over to the fireplace and pulling a small sack out of her coat pocket.

‘You ready for your big day, Head Auror?’ asked Faith, waving her finger and polishing a glass without touching it.

‘Not in the slightest,’ Tonks replied, turning back to face both Faith and Remus. She swallowed hard as she looked up at Remus.

‘You’ll do great, Tonks, you know th –‘

‘Faith – trying to have a moment with the husband.’

‘Oop, _sorry,_ ’ Faith hissed from behind the bar in a whisper before ducking to the kitchen behind her. Tonks exhaled shakily and Remus smiled, stepping forward and putting his hands on her upper arms.

‘I’m so proud of you,’ he started, and Tonks shook her head.

‘Don’t, don’t say that, ‘cause then I’ll cry or something… _shit,_ why am I so _nervous?_ ’ she asked.

‘First day jitters. It isn’t just you,’ Remus said, squeezing her arms.

‘I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.’ Tonks repeated the words to herself under her breath, Remus nodding all the while.

‘It will be, Dora,’ he insisted, ‘but if you don’t go now, you’re going to be late.’ Tonks’ hair flashed a neon pink for a moment before she shook it off, going to stand in the fireplace with a deep breath. She fiddled with the fastener on the sack before pulling out a handful of powder. She then leapt out of the fireplace. Remus looked confused for a moment before Tonks leant up on her tiptoes to kiss Remus quickly.

‘Good luck, see you tonight,’ she said quickly before stepping back into the fireplace. She took another steadying breath before shouting clearly and precisely. ‘ _Ministry of Magic!_ ’

With that, she threw the powder at her feet and green flame consumed her. Faith poked her head out after the flames died down, holding a cup of tea.

‘Good luck to you too, Lupin,’ she remarked, sipping at her tea. ‘Bloody good to see you back there.’

‘Thank you, Faith,’ Remus remarked, pulling a small bag from his own jacket pocket and stepping into the fireplace as he opened it. He too announced clearly ‘ _Defence Against the Dark Arts Office, Hogwarts,’_ before throwing the powder at his feet and disappearing from the fireplace in a maelstrom of green flame.


	14. Leader of the Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extended hiatus on this! Updates will be slower than they initially were but I'm hoping they'll still be somewhat regular! Enjoy!

Every time Tonks used the Floo Network, she was quietly concerned that she would turn up in some derelict place that she hadn’t ever heard of before, so when she popped out in the foyer of the Ministry of Magic she was immensely relieved. The relief quickly made way for nerves again, though, as she stepped out of the fireplace into the current of people wandering into their jobs. She smoothed her shirt own, pulling her jacket around herself as she went to walk alongside the crowd with her head down. It was uncharacteristic of her, as usually she’d find any excuse to chat and ultimately be late for work, but today was different. Today she needed to get through and go up and settle into her office and –

‘There you are, love! I mean, _madam.’_

Tonks turned around and immediately recognised the voice.

‘Proudfoot! Oh, bloody hell, I’m glad to see you,’ Tonks exhaled heavily, and Proudfoot gave a grin as she sidled up beside the new Head Auror.

‘Of course you are,’ she sighed, clapping a hand down on Tonks’ shoulder. ‘You’ll be even more glad to know that I’ve been assigned to your service for the foreseeable future – apparently Kingsley can spare me,’ she grinned. Tonks felt the mixed emotions immediately – she was so glad to have Proudfoot by her side, but being assigned to the Head Auror usually meant you weren’t to be sent out on active duty any longer. Tonks’ mind drifted to how experienced an Auror Proudfoot was, and how much of her life she had dedicated to the force. She was sure, however, that Proudfoot did not want pity above all else, and she would not be one to give it to her.

‘I _am_ glad to hear that,’ Tonks finally said, Proudfoot nodding as she continued walking beside Tonks with the slightest limp.

‘You ready to wrangle the new recruits today?’ she asked, and Tonks’ eyebrows dipped.

‘Well, I _hope_ so,’ Tonks remarked, ‘but who knows. Recruits are always a mixed bag.’

‘Well, these kids have been through a war and come out the other side,’ Proudfoot replied. Tonks nodded as she went to press the lift button, folding her arms.

‘Yeah, of course… this really is going to be so different to any training that’s been done before, isn’t it?’ Tonks asked.

‘Nice try, love, but I’m not going to let you get your knickers in a knot over this before we’ve even gotten into your office. It’ll go just as smoothly as every other year,’ said Proudfoot, nudging Tonks in the side as they stepped into the lift. Tonks gave a small, begrudging smile as she leant against the back of the lift, scuffing her boot against the ground.

‘Alright, no need to call me out like this.’ Tonks held her hands up in a surrendering gesture, earning a snort from Proudfoot as she stood to the side, letting others in. They stood in silence until the lift announced that they were on level 2, at which point both Tonks and Proudfoot squeezed their way past the others to head for the Auror Headquarters.

Entering the room with all of its open cubicles was somewhat bittersweet for Tonks, especially as she walked past the cubicle which used to be her own. It was currently empty, all of her belongings packed up in the office at the end of the room, reserved for the head of the department. For her. It was nothing short of surreal.

‘Alright, so, you have the trainees coming in at ten, and an interview with the Prophet at 2, but the rest of the day is just getting settled in, all of the Aurors out in the pen should be able to keep their work under control for the moment to let you focus on the trainees, alright?’ asked Proudfoot. Tonks was shaken from her slight stupor as she blinked up at Proudfoot, nodding small before dipping her eyebrows.

‘They haven’t got you here as my secretary, do they, Prouds?’ she asked. Proudfoot rolled her eyes.

‘Not young enough or busty enough to be a secretary, love. Though you will eventually need one, but that’ll come down the line. Right now, I’m taking care of it, that’s all you need to worry about.’ Proudfoot gave a smile that Tonks didn’t find all that convincing, but she barely had time to query it before Proudfoot opened the office door and ushered Tonks through it. ‘Alright, come on, get on in that office. I’ll be out here in the pen if you need me, alright?’

‘Yeah, of course,’ Tonks replied, heading into her office and letting Proudfoot shut the door. The office was horrendously bare, with just Tonks’ box of office belongings sitting on the desk which had a chair behind it. Tonks noticed that the box had something golden atop it that she hadn’t seen before. She took a step forward, and saw a note attached which she read first.

_Apologies in advance for needing to use your full name. You may have to get used to it – Kingsley._

Tonks moved the note to see the name plaque beneath the note which read _Nymphadora Tonks,_ then underneath it _Head Auror._ Tonks sighed small, but couldn’t help the ghost of a smile that made its way across her lips. While being Head Auror did still terrify her, she was also quietly proud of her achievement in making the position. She placed the plaque at the front of her desk before starting to unpack the rest of her things.

After what seemed like only a short amount of time, Proudfoot knocked on the office door and poked her head in, glancing over at Tonks with a small expectant smile.

‘Alright, you ready for these kids?’ she asked. Tonks looked up from the now much less bare office, which had all of her old belongings strewn over its walls and shelves, and her eyes widened.

‘Oh, wow, already? Okay, yeah, let’s go,’ she remarked, placing the empty box behind her desk and heading towards the door, heading through the office with Proudfoot trailing behind her. They slowly made their way back down to the foyer where waiting for them were a group of around ten trainees, some of whom Tonks already recognised. Namely Harry and Ron, of course, but also Neville Longbottom as well as a few students who she recognised from her time patrolling the halls at Hogwarts. She stood in front of the group, swallowed hard and clasped her hands. They all fell silent, which startled her slightly. She looked to Proudfoot, who smirked and laughed small. A couple of the trainees laughed as well, and it seemed to break the tension enough for Tonks to start talking.

‘Alright, um… so, I’m Tonks –’

Proudfood cleared her throat.

‘… I’m _Nymphadora Tonks,_ ’ she said, through slightly gritted teeth. She noticed a small shift on Harry and Ron’s faces particularly, and she let out a quick breath as she laughed off the use of her full name, ‘and I’m… I’m Head Auror. And I’m basically in charge of your training for the next three years. Which…’ Tonks paused to look at Proudfoot, who seemed to be fine with the direction she was taking. She took a deep breath in, let it out, and continued.

‘… Which is terrifying, let’s be honest. I remember thinking that three years was a really long time when I did my training, but it’ll go by really fast. This is the point where my mentor, Mad-Eye Moody, tried to scare me out of the program and nearly succeeded. But… this year is a little different. I was the only trainee that came through in my year. You guys… you’ve been through the war. You all did… an amazing job. And you want to keep doing that – that’s why you’re here. So… yeah. That’s my whole… speech. I know it wasn’t that great but… this is my first day on the job. Just like it’s your first day as trainees. So… we’re in this together, yeah?’ Tonks asked. The group murmured and nodded, a couple of the more nervous trainees looking slightly more heartened at the chat.

‘Alright, so, we’re going to head up to the Auror Headquarters in groups – Bones, Longbottom, Potter, Turpin and Weasley, you’ll stay with Auror Tonks, while the rest of you will come with me and see the office first. Can’t startle the Aurors with too many of you, now,’ Proudfoot said, waving her half of the group over to the lifts with her. ‘I’m Proudfoot, by the way, been an Auror since way before you were born.’ Her voice trailed off as she boarded the lift with her trainees, leaving Tonks with mostly familiar faces. She turned to them and smiled.

‘Anyway… I know some of you, but not all of you,’ she turned to the trainee identified as Bones, holding a hand out to her, ‘I’m… call me Tonks,’ she said. Susan Bones held out her hand, gleefully smiling.

‘It’s so good to meet you – I’m Susan – I’m a Hufflepuff too!’ she exclaimed, almost as if she was an excited child. Tonks replied in turn, just as gleeful and excited.

‘Oh, no way! That’s awesome! So good to meet you!’ Tonks shook her hand and moved to Neville, smiling as she gestured to him.

‘Neville, right? Heard good things about you from the boys,’ she said, gesturing to Ron and Harry. Neville smiled small, rubbing at the back of his neck.

‘I doubt _that,_ ’ he replied, and Tonks shook her head.

‘Yeah, they’re pretty terrible,’ she joked, and she moved past Harry and Ron as she didn’t need to introduce herself to them in the least. However, she did move to Turpin, who seemed the most anxious of the bunch, and held a hand out.

‘Nice to meet you, what’s your name?’ she asked.

‘I’m Lisa,’ she said in a soft voice. Tonks smiled warmly, some of that motherly calm radiating from her hand to Lisa’s.

‘Lisa. Well, you can call me Tonks. I’m glad to have you here,’ she said, stepping back, ‘I’m glad to have you all here. It’s going to be a tricky journey but look. If I can do it, I’m sure you all can do it,’ she smirked.

‘Not going to introduce yourself to us, huh, Tonks?’ Harry asked, and Tonks folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

‘Not sure anyone here needs an introduction to _you,_ young man,’ she retorted, laughing small when Harry rolled his eyes. She was glad to see he was at relative ease with his fame these days – she wasn’t sure how far he would get without that, to be honest. Ron gave a laugh in turn which seemed to be contagious amongst the trainees, and it seemed to put them all at ease.

‘Alright! Let me take you around the Ministry a little, then I’ll take you up to the Auror Office which, fingers crossed, you’ll all be working in someday,’ she said, before leaning in and whispering. ‘I promise you it’s way cooler than it sounds.’

She started to lead her little group around the Ministry as promised, and eventually to the Auror Office. She showed them her own little sparse office and before she knew it, it was the end of their introductory day. The trainees bid her and Proudfoot farewell before leaving the Ministry for the day. It was a relatively short trip for the trainees but was honestly more of an introduction for Tonks than anything else – their real orientation would start later in the week. However, while the day was over for the trainees, it wasn’t over for Tonks. She only had a short amount of time before her interview with the Prophet, and truthfully, she was terrified. She had a strong history of putting her foot in her mouth with things like these – she’d never been an Auror that they traipsed out for news commentary.

‘Prouds,’ Tonks started just as Proudfoot was about to leave her office. She turned around, an eyebrow raised as to ask Tonks what was wrong. ‘What if I totally balls up this interview? D’you reckon Kingsley can fire me for that?’ Proudfoot let out a hearty laugh and shook her head small.

‘Tonks, you’re not going to _balls up_ this interview. You’ll be fine,’ Proudfoot remarked, turning to leave once more. She paused, giving a small snort before turning back to Tonks once more. ‘You’ll be _totally_ fine.’ Tonks seemed confused at Proudfoot’s sudden confidence, but her reasons became apparent as she moved out of the doorway, allowing Tonks to see a small, bespectacled man – though he barely looked old enough to be called that – fumbling on the ground with papers which had fallen out of an opened briefcase. He was scrambling madly for these papers, exclaiming to anyone that would listen nearby that he was very, _very_ sorry, but that he was here to interview the new Head Auror and that he mustn’t be late. Proudfoot smirked and gestured Tonks out of her office. Tonks nodded small and headed over to kneel down in front of the man, helping him pick up the papers.

‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I’m here to interview –’ he finally looked up to see who was helping him, and his eyes widened. ‘… _Nymphadora Tonks.’_ He stopped, clearing his throat. ‘Sorry, Miss – Miss Tonks – no, _Auror Tonks,_ I’m terribly sorry, I really am –’ Tonks just smiled and shook her head as the man finished packing his papers back into his briefcase, and they both got to their feet before Tonks held out her hand.

‘Please, call me Tonks.’ Her hand gripped the man’s quite tightly, and he laughed nervously as he shook her hand feebly.

‘I’m – I’m Atticus Fletchley, I’m – well, I suppose a reporter for the Daily Prophet – newly instated, hence the, uh… the nerves, I do apologise again –’

‘Nothing to apologise for, Atticus. Come through to my office,’ she gestured to the open door and went to walk to it, allowing Atticus through first before entering behind him. She closed the door behind him and then took her seat behind the desk, Atticus taking a notepad and quill from his briefcase as she did so. Tonks seemed perplexed that he was holding his own quill, and he seemed to realise this as he laughed nervously, motioning as if he was writing with the ivory feather.

‘I prefer to do the shorthand myself. Always have, I think it’s a Muggle-born thing,’ he remarked, and Tonks gave a little smile.

‘Oh, no, I think it’s great. Much more reliable than a Quick-Quotes Quill, I’d hope,’ replied Tonks. Atticus nodded in reply.

‘Of course! Of course, yes,’ he said, before taking a small breath and looking up at Tonks. ‘Shall we begin?’

‘Yes, let’s,’ she replied, settling back in her chair and watching as Atticus fiddled with some papers in his lap. Her nerves came back somewhat as she realised he had some prewritten questions, questions which may have been written by journalists more interested in scandal than he seemed to be. But there was no going back now as Atticus began. The questions were mostly official, about what she intended to do in office and how her first day had gone. These were all questions she was prepared for, and questions she had gone through the answers to in her head a thousand times plus to Remus a thousand more times. It was when Atticus looked slightly uncomfortable that her nerves spiked, and rightfully so.

‘Uh, so… your marriage.’ Atticus blinked, as did Tonks.

‘… I’m sorry?’ she asked, defensively. Atticus stammered for a moment, flicking through his papers as if to try and vanish the questions out of existence. But it was clear to Tonks that he was not succeeding, and he looked up with apologies swimming behind his lenses.

‘I – well – you are, of course, married to…’ Atticus trailed off, and Tonks’ brow creased.

‘… Remus Lupin, yes. A renowned war hero, a prominent professor and current Head of Gryffindor House, I presume you were about to say?’ she asked.

‘I… I was going to mention… some members of the public are still concerned, I mean… not _all,_ but some…’ Atticus continued flubbing over his words, and every bone in Tonks’ body wanted to stand up and storm off, or to better yet give whoever wrote those questions a piece of her mind. But she also knew that Atticus seemed like the messenger – from the sounds of it, he was just recently made a reporter, and it seemed he had been sent to be thrown under the bus that was a defensive Tonks. She took a sharp breath in and sighed.

‘… My husband is a werewolf. This is widely, if not universally known. He is also, as I said, a war hero, and one of the most sought after Defence Against the Dark Arts professors in the world. The fact that he is a werewolf should not be anywhere near the top of anyone’s list when describing him, and the public should know that they have _nothing_ to be concerned about. Nothing at all.’ Tonks cleared her throat and clasped her hands. ‘Atticus, off the record, I do hope that these questions aren’t your own. But whether or not they are… I think we’re done here.’ Atticus seemed scared, but he had frankly seemed scared the entire interview. He nodded and put his things back in his briefcase before standing.

‘Um, off the record… I don’t know how much of that my higher-ups will want to use,’ said Atticus. Tonks sighed, nodding small.

‘I figured as much,’ Tonks remarked.

‘But… if I have any hand in it… I’ll make sure that the public hears what needs to be said.’ Atticus seemed steelier than he had the entire time Tonks had been interacting with him, and it heartened her to hear what he had to say. Still, she couldn’t be sure how much pull the young man had in his office.

‘Thank you, Atticus,’ Tonks said, ‘see you later.’ He left her office silently, keeping his head down as he left the Auror Office. Proudfoot stuck her head in just after he left, raising an eyebrow.

‘So. Did you balls it up?’ she asked. Tonks flopped down in her seat and sighed.

‘I feel like it’s going to _look_ like I ballsed it up, Prouds.’


End file.
